He didn't hear Troy approach behind him as he sat at his desk. The younger man placed his hands on Starbuck's shoulders, and began massaging. "Rough day? You're tense, Love."
Starbuck dropped his head forward. "It was fine until Strawki came in."
Troy sighed, he had heard the name more than a few times from his lover. "What was he on about this time?"
"Same thing. His bunkmates threw his clothes in the turbowash, and tried to flush his term paper." He exhaled loudly. "Sometimes I wonder who raised these brats."
Starbuck felt his lover's hands freeze, and instantly realized his slip. He stood up, and pulled him close. "Troy, I didn't mean it like that. You're different than them, Love."
The boy nodded and pulled away. "Is that because you helped raise me? Or because, since I was a slave, you don't think I'd complain?"
Starbuck closed his eyes for a micron, he was too tired for this. They had been together for three months in bliss, then one day Tigh ordered Starbuck to head up the Cadet Program. Since then, their relationship had been strained. He opened his eyes and stared into the dark ones before him. "Troy, I never bring that up, and you know it. You're just more mature than they are. And a lot sexier," he finished with a sly smile.
Troy glared at him. "Don't you dare, Bucko. We're finishing this discussion, whether you like it or not."
Starbuck frowned. "Well, that's one way you're different. You can put me in my place, and not end up on report."
"All I want is to know what you meant. You can't expect me to brush it off, when you're talking about people my age."
The Captain dropped his head, and brought his hands up. "I understand that. It's just that I don't remember having these problems when I was in the Academy, at least we didn't complain about them." He sighed. "What did you do today?" he asked, desperately wanting to change the subject.
Troy shrugged. He knew what Starbuck was doing, and it was probably for the best. "I just hung around with Dillon, nothing much."
Starbuck nodded, narrowing his eyes. "You're spending a lot of time with him."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Troy demanded.
"I've just noticed, that's all."
Troy shook his head, and glared at the blue eyes. "No, you're not getting away from this one. Explain."
Starbuck nodded, and widened his stance. "Alright. I don't like you spending so much time with him."
"Do I have to remind you it was your idea we become friends?" the boy countered, his anger evident in his voice.
"Friends, yes," Starbuck replied, letting his own emotion become evident. "But if that's all you are, then why don't you find me attractive anymore?"
Troy was taken aback. "What??"
Starbuck took a step towards him. "You heard me. Are you sleeping with him?"
The younger man stood his ground. Starbuck may be bigger, but he remembered a time when he came close to besting him. "You don't trust me. You're off at work all day, and you think as soon as you leave, I'm hopping into someone else's bed!"
"I didn't hear a 'no'," Starbuck snarled.
Troy lost it, and punched him in the jaw. "You're frakkin' losing it! Sagan! You want to know why I don't sleep with you as much?" Starbuck nodded, trying to control the urge to hit him back. "You're too tired. You come home everyday ready to collapse. Like it or not, you're not getting any younger. Starbuck, you're older, and you're just trying to make excuses."
The urge took over, and he slugged the boy in the gut. They went at it, fists fast and furious. They battered and bruised nearly every part of their bodies, love lost to fury. Troy's fist connected with the center of Starbuck's face, and he flew back. Hitting the wall, he sank to the floor, but didn't get up.
Scared, the boy ran out of the quarters, not looking back. He prayed Starbuck wasn't dead, but he didn't want to know if he was. And he wasn't waiting around for Tigh's men to take him away. He wasn't so sure that Starbuck would get him off this time.
@@@@@
It was almost sleep cycle, and Troy still hadn't returned. He was gone when Starbuck came to, and the Captain was beginning to worry. He quickly made his decision, and left a note just in case. He didn't care if he had to comb the ship deck by deck and room by room, he was going to find Troy.
Starbuck decided to leave Dillon's quarters for last, he didn't really want to find his lover in there. He checked the launch bay, Life Center, the Rejuvenation Center, the bridge, and the Tech areas. The Captain was about to resort to his last choice, when he spotted his query on a bench in the Agro Center.
Walking up beside the boy, he waited until he looked up. "This seat taken?"
Troy shrugged. "That depends. You here to talk, or are we gonna break the place up?"
Starbuck sighed, and sat down. "Troy, I'm sorry. For everything. I guess I haven't gotten over my old insecurities, and I took it out on you."
Troy glanced at him. "Do you really think I'm sleeping with Dillon?"
Starbuck shrugged. "I guess not . . . No. It's just that you're the same age, and I keep wondering if you'd prefer that."
Troy sighed. "I'd be lying if I said I never thought about it. I mean, you've seen Dillon, he's a damn fine looking guy. But I'm not sleeping with him." He draped an arm around Starbuck's shoulders. "It's you I love, Bucko."
The Captain smiled. After a furtive glance to be sure they were alone, he kissed his lover. "So, do you want to?"
Troy's brown eyes were lit in puzzlement. "What are you asking, Starbuck?"
He made sure the boy was looking into his eyes. "Do you want to be with Dillon? Honestly, Troy. I won't be offended."
The younger man pulled him close. "We've been good, Love. Better than good. I just think that our age difference is becoming more and more evident. There are things that people your age can do for you that I can't, and the same goes for me."
@@@@@
The lovers lay in bed together, gasping for air. Troy turned to Starbuck and smiled. "This is one hades of a send off, Bucko."
The Captain laughed. "Yeah, almost makes me want to rethink breaking up with you."
Troy sat up. "Starbuck -"
"No," he exclaimed. "It's better this way. You were right."
The boy reached over, and stroked his last time lover's face. "I'm sorry." Starbuck took hold of the hand, and kissed it. Troy looked so young at this moment. "Starbuck, why did you want to do this? Why make love to me?"
The Captain sat up and wrapped his arms around the younger man. "I wanted to be with you one last time. I know it sounds selfish. I just didn't want our last physical act, our last memory to be of rage."
Troy took hold of his friend's head, and looked into the dark blue eyes. Closing their eyes against the tears, their lips met. They knew this was the last time they would be together, and just hoped they would never lose the closeness.