"Yes?" Starbuck looked up only long enough to confirm that the person who had pressed his door signal was no one he knew, just another civilian lost among the crew quarters.
"Lieutenant Starbuck?" the pleasant-faced woman asked.
"Just Starbuck, I'm not a lieutenant any more." He was surprised at how little bitterness he felt at saying those words.
"Oh. Starbuck, then. I'm Ariadne. I'm an investigative reporter with the IFB ..."
'Of course.' Now the bitter feeling came through, the hurt and hollowness in his stomach.
"Starbuck?" Ariadne paused at the sudden closed look that had replaced the hitherto neutral expression.
"Hmm? Oh, sorry," Starbuck looked at a point somewhere in the hallway over Ariadne's left shoulder. "You want an interview with the maimed rapist, right? Well, you can't have one." He closed his eyes and recited from memory, "I am not at liberty to discuss any aspects of the alleged crime or its consequences without the express permission of a member of the senior staff of the military or one of the Council of Twelve."
"First of all," Ariadne started, annoyed that he had assumed she was there to exploit him in some way, "I do want an interview, but not for ... what you think." She couldn't bring herself to repeat his self-descriptive phrase. "I'm doing a series on victims of miscarriages of justice. You were recommended to me." For the first time, startled blue eyes looked directly at her. She gasped at their beauty.
Starbuck flinched at the gasp and took a half-step back, still blocking the doorway. He dropped his eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to ..." He sighed. Frak! She could accuse him of ... just about anything. All he'd done was look at her, and he hadn't meant to do that. Best get rid of her quickly. "Anyway, it doesn't matter *why* you're here. I can't talk to you without permission."
"Fine, I'll get permission," Ariadne said simply. She didn't understand his reaction just then, but set that aside for now. "Who do I have to ask?"
'Well, she's persistent if nothing else,' Starbuck thought. "Like I said, one of the Council of Twelve or a senior officer."
"The Council of Twelve is composed of politically motivated idiots," Ariadne snapped. "Who count as senior officers?"
Privately Starbuck agreed with her, but he kept his expression blank. "That would be Commander Adama, Colonel Tigh, or Captain Apollo."
"All right then, nothing like starting at the top." She pretended not to notice Starbuck's wince. "I'll be back. Will you be here?"
Starbuck's lips quirked at that. Where else could he be? "Here or on duty," he replied. "Strategic planning, but you probably know that."
"No, I didn't," Ariadne said. "I was under the impression you were reinstated." She watched Starbuck bite his lip and turn his head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." Starbuck shrugged. "I'll find you."
Starbuck nodded and turned away, the door closing behind him. Ariadne stood there for a micron, then shook her head in confusion and headed for the Command level.
***
A conversation over the audio comm system:
"Starbuck."
"It's Apollo, Bucko."
"Yes, Captain?"
"I was on bridge duty and just had a visitor from the IFB." There was silence on the other end of the line. "Starbuck, are you there?"
"Yes, sir."
"You think you need permission to speak to her or did you just want me to send her away?"
"Sir?"
Apollo gave an exasperated sigh. "Starbuck, why did you send her up here?"
"To ... to get permission. The terms of my parole ..." Starbuck was struggling not to hyperventilate.
"Okay, then I'll grant the permission. I told her I'd think about it and send my response via inter-fleet mail."
"Okay."
"Starbuck, are you all right?"
"Yes, Captain. I'm ... fine."
"Well. Just be careful."
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." The comm unit disconnected and Starbuck stood staring at it, the hollow feeling in his stomach spreading until his entire body felt empty.
***
A secton later:
"Yes?"
"Haven't we had this conversation before?" Ariadne said with a chuckle. When Starbuck didn't respond, she continued, "Here's the permission letter, signed by Captain Apollo." She handed it to him and he took it gingerly, careful not to touch her. "He's really by-the-book, isn't he?"
"He can be," Starbuck said cautiously.
"So, may I come in now?"
"I don't think that's a good idea," Starbuck said, still looking at the folded letter.
"Look, if you put me through all this permission felgercarb just to give me the runaround, that was really unnecessary. You could have just said 'no'." Ariadne was angry now.
Starbuck flinched and stepped back, much as he had at their first encounter. "Please," he whispered. "I wasn't trying to do anything like that. It's just ... not a good idea for us to be alone in a closed room. Please," he repeated, pleadingly.
"Okay," Ariadne said slowly, realizing she was witnessing some sort of victim response. She'd seen all different kinds of responses as she interviewed victims for this series, ranging from complete bitterness through sarcasm to acceptance of what happened as fate; but never anything like this. What was it? The ex-warrior seemed to be afraid of her. "Where do you want to go?"
Starbuck was at a loss. He was welcome nowhere. He hadn't looked directly at her - once was enough - but now he dropped his eyes in defeat. "I don't know," he murmured.
"One of the lounges? A bar?" Ariadne suggested. Starbuck just shook his head. "How about the dining hall - you have to eat, don't you?"
"I, uh, usually just get something from my fooder." Starbuck gestured vaguely behind him.
Running footsteps sounded down the hall. Starbuck shrunk back as far as he could while still blocking the doorway. Ariadne looked around.
"Hi, Ari!" A pleasant tenor rang out. "Where do you want me to set up?"
Ariadne turned and gestured at the tall man hauling a portable video setup. "Starbuck this is Ulysses. Ulysses, Starbuck."
Ulysses held out his hand, "Lieutenant," he said in greeting.
"Just Starbuck," he murmured automatically. His stomach cramped. He was trapped. 'Now there's a witness, but so what?' he thought. There was a witness when Cass forced him, too. Sheba had held the laser pistol on him while Cass got the "evidence", then used it to "subdue" him while they called Security. "What do you want?" he asked as a hopeless feeling passed through him and he shivered.
"Can we come in now?" Ariadne asked. "Since it's not the two of us alone any more?"
Starbuck nodded and led the way into the small, almost bare room. He gestured for them to sit on the day-bed, habitually courteous even as he wondered how long they would keep up the charade before they demanded whatever it was they really wanted - sex, to hurt him, to humiliate him - after all they had the video camera, they must be planning to record whatever they were going to have him do. He sat on the single chair in front of the combination desk and table. He gestured at the wall-mounted fooder. "Can I offer you anything?" he asked. "To eat or drink, I mean."
"No, thanks," Ariadne answered for both of them. Ulysses had started to open his bag, but she forestalled him with a light hand on his wrist. She didn't know why, but Starbuck was obviously terrified of them. He had already been nervous around her, but when Ulysses joined them, his fear escalated. She had to try to set him at ease. "Let me explain what this series is about and how I've been working with the interviewees," she offered.
"All right," Starbuck said, clasping his hands on the desk and willing his body to relax. Experience had taught him that there was no use in tensing up or fighting back. If there was any chance of it going easier, submitting was the only way.
***
Part 2
"Let me ask you something before I even start explaining how I'd like to work," Ariadne said suddenly. "Can you talk about what happened?"
Starbuck blinked in surprise. "You got permission for me to ..."
Ariadne shook her head. "Not what I mean. *Can* you talk about it?"
Starbuck shrugged. "I guess. Never tried." He thought for a micron. "What if I can't?"
"Some can't," Ariadne tried to sound casual. "We'll work around it."
"'Kay." Starbuck tried to keep the edge of panic out of his voice.
"So. What I do has varied with the person and I've learned as I went." Ariadne smiled. "You get to benefit from my experience."
'What does she mean by that?' Starbuck wondered. He decided not to respond.
"Anyway, I'll start by asking free-form questions. If you can tell your story from those, great. If not, I'll ask more focused questions. If you really can't talk about it, I'll tell the story and ask corroborating questions about what I describe. That sound okay?"
"Sure."
Ulysses had been sitting back, watching the tense man opposite him. Now he leaned forward slightly, signaling his presence. "Do you mind if I film you?" he asked.
"Doing what?" Starbuck blurted out hoarsely.
Ulysses held up his hands in a calming gesture. "Being interviewed, that's all."
"Oh. Okay. Yeah, sure." The panic receded enough for Starbuck to ask, "Why are you doing this? Why me?"
"Because when we asked for a list of victims of miscarriage of justice, your name was at the top of the list."
"Who made out the list?" Starbuck asked suspiciously.
"Commander Croft of the Prison Barge."
"Did he put his name on it, too?"
Was there an edge of sarcasm in the former lieutenant's voice now? Ariadne wasn't sure, so she took the question at face value. "No, as a matter of fact he didn't. And I asked him about it. He said that not only was he properly incarcerated, if not properly treated, but he had been allowed to earn back his rank, so he could hardly say there was any miscarriage of justice."
"Oh. Hmm." Starbuck thought about that for several centons while Ariadne and Ulysses waited patiently. "Okay, I guess I was wrong about him. He ... he did try to ... protect me on the Barge - once he found out." A shudder ran through the thin body and he blinked rapidly for a few microns. He took a deep breath. "But ... I don't understand how my ... case qualifies as 'miscarriage of justice'. I mean, I was ... mistreated, but ..."
"Your mistreatment was extreme," Ariadne explained. "Personally, I agree with you - Commander Croft was as much a victim of miscarriage of justice as you are. He doesn't think so though. He said he committed the crime and deserved to pay for it. He was kind of ambiguous about why he thought your situation was more than mistreatment, but he did insist that you be interviewed and strongly recommended we save your interview for last."
"Who were the others - I mean, if you don't mind telling me."
"You haven't watched the series?" Ariadne sounded more surprised than disappointed.
Starbuck colored and gestured at the small room. "No vid."
"There are public vids everywhere."
"I, uh, don't go out much."
"Are you too ill?"
Briefly, Starbuck considered lying and agreeing with her. "I do tire easily, but that's not it." He fell silent.
"You don't have to explain," Ulysses put in. Ariadne shot him an annoyed look, but he shook his head in warning.
"Ulysses is my conscience," Ariadne explained, smiling. "Sometimes I forget to tone down my investigative side."
Starbuck smiled back, but there was a wistfulness to his expression. "I used to have a conscience," he said softly. He looked down at his hands.
Ariadne bit back the question on the tip of her tongue. "He's right," she said instead. "You don't have to explain."
"No, that's okay, you should know," Starbuck said. "I wouldn't meet with you anywhere but here and I didn't want you to come in. That must have seemed unconscionably rude." Ariadne shook her head, but Starbuck hadn't looked up. "I ... I didn't mean it to be. I don't go out except to work. People ... know me, my face. I was a famous warrior and ... and an infamous rapist. They, um, they don't want me around. Anywhere. At work they have to tolerate my presence, but not anywhere else."
"That's ..."
Starbuck held up a hand to forestall her response. "Don't say it. I found a solution - not going anywhere." He looked up then and smiled thinly, a twisting of the lips that went no further. He looked at a spot between the pair facing him and finished his thought. "I didn't want you to interview me here for what will seem a very paranoid reason - I was ... actually I still am ... afraid that you'll accuse me of ... something. Without witnesses, even with a witness," he nodded at Ulysses, "it would be your word against mine, and that's something I've already experienced. I know how it works out." The bitterness came through full force; Starbuck shut his mouth with an audible click and lowered his eyes again.
Ariadne was outraged that this man would think she would falsely accuse him of a crime, even more so that she would conspire with Ulysses to frame him. She opened her mouth to defend herself, but a hard pressure on her wrist silenced her.
Ulysses spoke softly. "You claimed you were setup. That was your defense." Starbuck gave a short nod. "No one believed you." Starbuck shook his head once, from side to side. "I don't blame you for not wanting to be entrapped again."
Starbuck's head jerked up and his eyes met Ulysses' for a micron. This stranger had sounded as if he believed. Starbuck thrust back the sudden hope that sprang unbidden from a place he thought tightly sealed. His eyes fell again and he swallowed hard before he could speak. "Thank you," he murmured.
Ariadne was thinking furiously. No wonder Croft had insisted she save Starbuck for last. The others had been exonerated. Some were still bitter, some so devastated by betrayal they couldn't even tell their own story, but all could hold their heads up, knowing they had been declared innocent. Not so Starbuck. His was a medical parole, given after he was so badly tortured by prisoners and guards alike that he would never fully recover physically, let alone psychologically. But Ulysses' words and the weight of his inclusion on Croft's list made Ariadne wonder if there wasn't a wrong that needed to be made right here. And looking at the downcast face, she wondered whether it wasn't too late.
Ulysses was speaking again. "I think Ari's right , though, you really should see the series - at least some of it - so you'll know what we're about." He thought for a moment. "You and I could watch at my place if you want." Starbuck looked at him again, this time with disbelief. Ulysses laughed. "Well, *I'm* not going to accuse you of attacking me - what kind of wimp would that make me out to be?"
Starbuck's smile was genuine this time, but brief. Quickly turning serious, he said, "You would let yourself be seen with me, in what could be looked at as a social situation? Professionally, I understand, you have an opportunity to boost ratings, but you're going out of your way ..." He left the words hanging and sat still, waiting for Ulysses to realize what he had offered and to take it back.
"Yes," Ulysses said simply.
***
The door signal chimed as Starbuck was convincing himself to get ready to take the shuttle to Ulysses' quarters on the Leonine Freighter. He answered it to find Ulysses standing there. "You changed your mind," he said, telling himself he was unsurprised and trying to ignore the pathetic sadness that radiated from within.
Ulysses was quick to respond, shaking his head vigorously. "No, not at all." 'I should have known he'd think that,' he chastised himself. "But I thought it might be ... difficult for you to take the shuttle by yourself."
"Thanks. Let me just get my brace on."
"Brace?"
"Yeah," Starbuck raised his voice to be heard from the curtained alcove which held his dresser and the tiny turbo flush/wash combination. "I'm okay without it here, but even to walk to the Planning Center I need it. And the shuttle bay's even farther away." He spoke without rancor, just another fact of life.
***
Starbuck walked to the side and half a step behind Ulysses keeping his head down. Even so, he was aware of the hostile looks aimed at him. At the shuttle bay, he let Ulysses buy the shuttle tickets and made no attempt to take one from his hand. When the shuttle arrived, he followed Ulysses on board.
Ulysses motioned him to a corner seat and sat next to him, trying to block the angry glares. 'No wonder he doesn't leave his quarters,' Ulysses thought. 'Maybe once his interview airs and people see how harmless he is, it'll be better.'
On the Leonine Freighter, Starbuck was less easily recognized. To the residents they passed, he appeared just another damaged member of the fleet, worn down by everything that had happened since the Destruction. He actually managed to relax slightly by the time they reached Ulysses' quarters. Once inside, however, he felt his insides clench. He stood uncertainly just inside the door. 'What was I thinking?' he asked himself. 'He could do anything to me here and no one would know.' He laughed at his own naiveté. 'And no one would care either, Bucko,' he reminded himself. He decided to go along with whatever Ulysses had planned. It couldn't make things worse and maybe he'd survive - although why he wanted to survive he wasn't sure.
Ulysses put a cartridge into the vid and motioned Starbuck to the couch. He programmed finger food and light grog from the fooder, brought it to the table in front of the couch, then settled next to Starbuck and flicked the vid to "play".
Halfway through the first interview, Starbuck began to relax, allowing himself to believe that Ulysses was what he presented himself as. When the vid ended, Ulysses rose to insert the next cartridge and asked, "Do you have food constraints? I can program something else."
"No, thank you," Starbuck replied. "I ... wasn't sure ..." He trailed off. He wasn't sure of a lot of things, but saying them out loud made them real. Pretending was much easier in the absence of evidence to the contrary. "I do have to be careful of spicy things and hard to digest food, but this is fine." He leaned forward and took a small canapé smeared with some sort of meat paste from the side of the platter, careful not to touch any of the other items on the platter.
Ulysses watched the careful motions as he put the second cartridge in; he'd seen Starbuck do the same thing when Ari handed him the contract to sign. "You're not contagious or anything, are you?" he asked.
Starbuck shook his head. "No, what I've got you can't catch. But people ... don't like to touch me or anything I've touched. I ... wouldn't want to contaminate your food.
"That's ridiculous!" Ulysses declared. He leaned over and took the canapé next to the one Starbuck had just taken. "You're not drinking," he noted, popping the small bite into his mouth. "Can I get you something non-alcoholic?"
"Don't trouble yourself," Starbuck replied, uncomfortable with the attention.
"No trouble," Ulysses insisted. "Agua or fruit juice?"
***
Starbuck couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed himself like this; in fact he couldn't remember the last time he'd been relaxed enough to enjoy himself at all. He glanced at the chrono and jumped. "I ... I have to get back. I'll miss curfew," he gasped.
'Curfew?' Ulysses thought, then remembered that Starbuck was on parole, not pardoned or exonerated. "You have to check in, or does someone check on you?" he asked.
"I have to check in, but it has to be from my comm unit." He'd only missed curfew once, when he'd been beaten too badly to make it back to his quarters in time. Then Boomer had found him. He knew he was better off that it had been Boomer; Boomer believed he'd been set upon. But the way his old friend had treated him ... he would rather have been found and "interrogated" by Security.
"Okay, I'll take you back," Ulysses said, noting the play of emotions across the other man's face. 'And then I'm going to get together with Ari and do some research.'
***
Part 3
***
Starbuck was pacing the length of the small room. Seated on the couch, Ariadne and Ulysses exchanged glances and, by mutual agreement, Ariadne spoke. "Starbuck, what's bothering you?"
Starbuck stopped pacing and gripped his hands together so tightly his knuckles and fingertips whitened. "You ... I ... " He sighed and tried to collect his thoughts. "After watching some of the interviews, I don't see how you can fill even half a centar with my ... story."
A frown creased Ariadne's face. "What do you mean?" she asked.
Starbuck pulled out the desk chair and straddled it backwards. He spread his hands, gesturing as he spoke, rapid-fire. Anyone who knew him would have recognized the agitation, but the two people facing him had only seen the nervous, defeated ex-Warrior. "Look," he began. "First of all, there's the very real question of how you can call this a miscarriage of justice. I wasn't released because the verdict was overturned or set aside. I was released because of 'cruel and inhuman punishment inflicted during incarceration'. That's not a miscarriage, just mistreatment - and not even unexpected, at that." He held up a hand to forestall any interruption. "So, you don't have that opening gambit. Then I notice you always interview friends and relatives. Have them relate how they always knew the victim was innocent and all. Well, number one, I don't have any relatives *or* friends and, number two, no one thought I was innocent. No one *thinks* I'm innocent. Some, maybe, think I've been punished enough; more likely they think I'm too damaged to do any harm to anyone, and they're right. But most people think I should be put away for good, that I shouldn't be loose to roam the fleet. So where's your story?"
"Not everyone thought you were guilty," Ariadne protested.
"No? Who didn't - except me, of course?"
She ignored the bitterly sarcastic tone. "Captain Apollo for one."
"For only, you mean." Starbuck's voice caught, and when he spoke again the two people on the couch had to strain to hear. "Yeah, he wanted to believe. He really did. He did everything he could to prove - to himself at least - that I was telling the truth. But in the end, there was no proof." His breath was a sob as he finished. "None at all."
"Captain Apollo declined to be interviewed," Ariadne said with more than a touch of sadness in her voice. "But Commander Croft has agreed to speak. And your supervisor, Calgor. We've also been contacted by the Opposer in the case; he's offered to make an explanatory statement."
Starbuck looked up with tear-filled eyes, but still shook his head. "Why are you doing this? Is it just for the ratings? I'll go along with whatever you want, but I wish I understood."
Ariadne was furious. Her eyes flashed. "No! It's not just for the ratings! How could you think we'd be that cold?"
Ulysses patted her on the back and spoke lightly. "Well, Ari, we are the IFB, you know?"
Ari rolled her eyes. Would they never get past those first days of gossip mongering? Then she paused; maybe that was the point. "Starbuck," she began thoughtfully, "You know how the IFB isn't trusted?" He nodded, looking a bit confused at the sudden change of subject. "Well, we've been trying for yahrens - literally - to destroy the image of the IFB as a rumor machine, a group that was capable of sensationalizing anything, no matter how trivial or unproven. We haven't been totally successful, but we haven't given up. That's part of what this series is about, to show we can be a serious force for improvement in the Fleet. Isn't that what you need to be able to do, too, to get on with your life? Show people you're not a horrible criminal, but just a man who's paid his dues, maybe dues he shouldn't have had to pay, and is ready to take his place in Fleet society again?"
"And reminding everyone of what I was convicted of is going to do this?" Starbuck was clearly unconvinced.
"No. But you *had* friends, friends who ... let you down. And the Council and adjudicators, they obviously felt there was a miscarriage of justice somewhere along the line or you wouldn't have been paroled."
Starbuck shrugged. "Maybe."
Ariadne stood up in front of Starbuck's chair. He flinched back. "Look at me," she demanded.
"Ari ..." Ulysses hissed warningly, but she gestured him to silence.
Slowly Starbuck met her eyes.
"Now tell me the truth. Did you rape Cassiopeia?"
Starbuck straightened his back and looked directly into her eyes. "No," he said firmly.
***
If all of the Warriors on the Galactica weren't at video sets when Starbuck's interview premiered, it was only because some of them had to patrol for Cylons. The bridge monitors all showed a picture-in-picture of the show and Colonel Tigh made no comment about the breach of protocol. On the Prison Barge, Commander Croft made it an order that both guards and prisoners watch the show.
Most of Blue and Red Squadrons, the men Starbuck had served with and led, took over the OC to watch. Silver Spar squadron gathered in Lieutenant Bojay's quarters. The Life Center video screens were dark in deference to Cassiopeia, but Doctors Salik and Paye were watching in the former's office. Boxey was with his grandfather and aunt, so that Apollo could watch in private, but when they checked on him, they found him glued to the set. Silently they joined him, Adama putting his arm around the young teenager, too big now to sit in his lap.
Ariadne opened the show with a brief review of the events leading up to Starbuck's conviction. "We asked the accuser and her primary witness to be interviewed for this show and they both refused. Therefore, I will briefly give their description of the incident that started the chain of events I believe ended with a horrendous miscarriage of justice. Med tech Cassiopeia accused Lieutenant Starbuck of raping her when she refused to resume their relationship. She was supported in her accusation by Lieutenant Sheba who testified that she entered the med tech's quarters upon hearing cries for help and found the Lieutenant in the process of raping the med tech. She stunned him with her laser pistol and called Security. Lieutenant Starbuck's description of the incident is quite different. Starbuck, if you would?"
The camera showed a frail man sitting with bent head next to Ariadne. He flinched at the sound of his name, then straightened to look towards the camera and began to speak.
***
In his quarters, Apollo uttered a cry of horror. Starbuck looked like a ghost of himself. He cursed himself for not going to see him since his release from prison.
***
In Bojay's quarters, Sheba put her hand to her mouth to smother a gasp. What had happened to him in prison? Around her, her fellow refugees from the Pegasus commented that it looked like he got what he deserved. Bojay stared sadly at the wreck of a man on the screen; that man had been his friend for decayahrens. What had happened? He looked around and glared at the rowdy Warriors, chewing his lip as he watched Sheba carefully. Something had been bothering her since the trial, and it seemed to be coming to a head now.
***
Ulysses smiled encouragingly at Starbuck from behind the camera. Taking a deep breath, Starbuck told his side of the story. "Cass, med tech Cassiopeia, and I had broken up some sectars before. Actually, she dumped me. I ... fooled around on her with ... a number of other women, sometimes seriously, sometimes not. She did the same, but not as much." He shrugged. "Anyway, she asked me to come to her quarters to talk things over, see if we could still be friends, and I agreed."
Ariadne interrupted with a gentle question. "Did anyone else know about this meeting?"
Starbuck shook his head. "No. I was, um, seeing someone, and I didn't want to hurt ... that person's feelings, so I kind of snuck away to see her." He sighed; in retrospect, that had been a very bad move on his part, not that it mattered now. "When I got there, Cass tried to, well, seduce me. I resisted." Starbuck's head dropped. "I know nobody believes that I'd ever resist such a thing, but I did. I was in a serious relationship and I wasn't about to jeopardize it."
***
Alone in his quarters, Apollo dropped his head into his hands, moaning, "Oh, Starbuck!"
***
In the OC, there were whispered conversations. Most of the warriors knew about the very private relationship that Starbuck was alluding to. "Look at that," Jolly murmured to Greenbean and Boomer, who sat on either side of him. "After all these yahrens and all that's happened, he's still protecting the Skipper. Makes me wonder if he hasn't been telling the truth all along, ya know?"
Boomer didn't answer, but shifted uncomfortably. Starbuck was a con artist and a liar, always had been. If you were his friend, you accepted that and guarded against it as best you could. But he was also loyal to his friends. He didn't offer friendship lightly, but when he did, it was to the death. 'And did you give him any loyalty back, Boom-boom?' he asked himself. 'Did you show him any friendship at all, even after you knew how he was being treated?'
***
On the screen, Starbuck was still speaking. "Sheba must have been in the closet. When I started to leave, she blocked the door and pulled out her weapon. Then she held it on me while Cass ... aroused me. When she had finished with me, Sheba stunned me with the laser pistol. I don't know what happened after that. Next thing I knew, Security was there."
***
Paye turned to Salik, concern etched on his face. "Cass's psych eval showed no post-trauma effects, didn't it?"
Salik nodded. "We figured that was because of her past as a Socialator."
"Yeah, I remember. But, what about physical trauma? Was there bruising or tearing?"
"You know, I don't remember that there was. There was semen on the outside of the vaginal cavity, because Sheba pulled Starbuck off Cass as he was ejaculating. That's what they told us. But, you know, there *should* have been some sign of forced entry. Let me call up the records." He pulled his computer to him and began tapping in codes.
***
On the screen, Ariadne thanked Starbuck for agreeing to repeat his story and continued the show. "On past shows, we've turned to those friends, family members, and associates who've supported the victim. But Starbuck is an orphan and none of his former friends and fellow warriors stood by him during his trial or afterwards. So we looked farther afield for people who could help us understand what happened to Starbuck and why - and perhaps help us determine whether there was a miscarriage of justice. One of the first people to step forward to assist us was the Chief Opposer for Criminal Tribunals, who joins us now."
The handsome, silver-haired, dark-skinned man addressed the camera directly. "This case was tried by public opinion and reputation. I firmly believe that had another Warrior, one with a less ... notorious reputation been accused, the outcome might have been different. The evidence was circumstantial - one Warrior's word against another's. I cannot honestly answer whether justice was carried out or not. Certainly the horrors that Starbuck experienced following his incarceration were not intended. They were completely unacceptable and intolerable. I completely supported Commander Croft's petition for Starbuck's parole and rehabilitation."
***
On the Prison Barge there was uncomfortable silence. None of the guards stationed there had taken part in Starbuck's torture, but they bore the stigma of their predecessors. Even the hardened prisoners, who had taken turns raping the former Warrior, had demurred from participating in the guards' activities. In fact, it had been the Nomen who had brought it to Croft's attention. As Ariadne introduced Croft, the silence became attentive.
"Prisons haven't changed since the Destruction," Croft began. "When I was an inmate, I was shackled almost constantly and frequently beaten. But I was beaten for fighting and breaking the rules. And I was an inmate because I had committed crimes against the Colonies I had sworn to protect. I shouldn't have been beaten, it's true. But what was done to me had its basis in justice and was within the realm of reasonable punishment, if extreme. This is not the case for Lieutenant Starbuck."
Ariadne interrupted for a micron. "Before you continue, Commander, I'd like to warn our viewers that what you are about to describe is graphic violence. If there are young children watching, I recommend that they be sent away from the view-screen for this segment."
***
Athena looked pointedly at Boxey and Adama nudged him gently. "Boxey, I think maybe you've seen enough. You know what Starbuck did and that he was badly hurt. You don't need to hear the details."
"No," Boxey said adamantly. "You and Dad won't let me see him. I know what *she* said he did, but I don't believe her! She was mad 'cause he liked Dad better than her. And Sheba, I *never* liked her. She always pretended to be so sweet to me, but she never meant it. She just wanted Dad for herself. You wanna know what I think? I think she and that Cassie did this to break up Dad and Uncle Starbuck. I love Uncle Starbuck - and he loved me. He loved all of us; we were his *family*. And none of you believed him. You all believed *her*. You guys, you don't even care what happened to him - you won't even find out how he's doing. You think I was such a little kid five yahrens ago that I don't remember? I remember. I remember how he cried when you told him to get out and never come back. You wouldn't even listen to him. Well, you better listen now. And you can't stop me from watching and listening, too."
Adama had listened to the Chief Opposer's words with shock and regret. Now he heard Boxey echo the same sentiments. Had he, too, prejudged Starbuck because he was a conning womanizer? "All right, Boxey," he said finally. "Perhaps you're right. We'll watch together."
***
"Rape is a fact of life in prison - the strong over the weak," Croft was explaining. "That doesn't excuse it and it doesn't excuse the administration of the Prison Barge, myself included, for letting it happen. I could use the excuse that I didn't know, and that would be true; most victims don't go to the authorities to complain, they just take what's dished out. But I won't excuse myself. I *should have known*. Certainly many of the guards did, and turned a blind eye. Not just in the case of Starbuck, but in other cases as well. Starbuck didn't complain, didn't report it. He bore it silently." Croft looked at Starbuck, sitting across from him in the semi-circle of seats.
The younger man shrugged. "It was what I expected," he said softly.
Croft shook his head and continued. "What the guards did, the solitary confinement, the denial of food, water, clothing, and medical attention - all of the systematic sexual and physical torture he endured for nearly two yahrens - that crossed the line from the rule of 'survival of the fittest' that so often is the overriding rule in prisons. The guards on the Prison Barge took it upon themselves to physically and mentally break Lieutenant Starbuck. They appointed themselves his executioners, since the tribunal didn't see fit to have him executed. They encouraged the prisoners to brutalize him constantly and they added to the brutality with their own weapons and punishments for non-existent infractions of prison regulations. It was not until Starbuck could no longer even *crawl* to his work station, when he was dragging himself on his belly, that some of the prisoners called a halt to the public humiliation and torture. And when he had gone missing for several cycles, a group forced their way into my office to inform me. When I found him ..."
Croft was interrupted by a whimper. Ulysses panned the camera to Starbuck, who was shaking. Ariadne blocked the camera's view and put her arm around him. Ulysses cut the sound as Ari spoke soothingly to Starbuck. After a few microns, he straightened in his chair. At Ari's nod, Ulysses turned the microphones back on.
"I'm sorry to put you through these memories, Starbuck," Croft said, leaning towards him. "But this needs to be told."
"Go on," Starbuck whispered. "I'm all right."
"When I found him," Croft repeated, "he had been left shackled to the wall naked in his cell for almost a secton. Since his crushed legs couldn't support him, he was hanging from dislocated arms. The shackles on his wrists had eaten into the skin and were so tight his hands were black. His only sustenance for some time had been his own urine and the urine and semen of the guards who 'ministered' to him." Croft paused to let his words sink in. Then he looked directly into the camera. "Yet I have heard that there are those who believe he doesn't deserve to be a 'free man'. Being crippled in body and spirit isn't enough for these fine citizens of the Fleet. They have turned him away, refusing to serve him in the dining halls, lounges, and bars. They have accosted him and beaten him in the corridors of the Galactica."
"We did extensive research. There's no record of any such incidents," Ariadne put in.
"I'm not surprised," Croft said. "Did you report the assaults, Starbuck?"
Starbuck shook his head. "Why bother? A couple of times Security broke them up and got me back to my quarters. Once it was Lieutenant Boomer. They knew. It didn't matter. It was my fault for being out there anyway. I learned to stay in my quarters when I wasn't on duty and I stopped getting roughed up. No one really hurt me; they just wanted to make the point that I ... shouldn't be there."
***
Jolly and Greenbean turned from the screen at Boomer's moan. The dark Lieutenant had his head on the table, overcome with guilt and regret. His own words echoed in his mind, "Get out of here, Starbuck. Get back to your quarters and stay there where you won't get into trouble." Oh, sure, he had put the Warriors who had been kicking the downed man on report. For unspecified reasons. He'd never logged the incident. Apparently no one had, but that didn't make him feel any better. Some part of him felt Starbuck had deserved the bruising, or at least had brought it on himself in some way. He didn't look into it to find out the truth; he just pushed it out of his mind.
***
Adama was out of his seat and at the comm unit. Tigh's face appeared, his expression grim. "Colonel, why wasn't I informed that Starbuck was being accosted?"
"I wish I knew, Commander. Officer Omega has volunteered to coordinate with the Life Center for any physical injuries and cross-check the dates with the Security detachments on duty. We'll get to the bottom of this immediately."
"I certainly hope so. Adama out."
***
Director Calgor was the final speaker. "I will be honest. I was ordered to take on Starbuck when his health permitted it and I lodged a formal protest. However, I have found his work to be invaluable to the Strategic Planning group. Although I have to admit we still isolate him, giving him plans to review and return with comments, there is no question of the knowledge and information he brings to the department. He has at no time acted inappropriately or attempted to integrate himself into the group. He works on the reports we send him electronically and returns them in the same manner. The rest of us meet as a team to formulate the plans and then review and usually implement his recommendations." The man looked embarrassed. "When Ariadne approached me, I realized that we had never altered this mode of operation from the first cycle he was on the job. I've been discussing it with the rest of the team, and, well, we feel it's probably past time we included Starbuck in our planning and review sessions. Our initial ... avoidance ... seems out of place now that he's been working in the same office with us for 18 sectars with no incidents at all." He stood and walked across the seating area to stand in front of Starbuck and offered his hand. "I want to apologize on behalf of the entire team for ostracizing you for so long. You never complained, never even mentioned it. I don't know that any of the rest of us, including myself, could have continued to work under the conditions we forced on you. I hope you'll forgive us and let us try to make amends."
With difficulty, Starbuck stood and, after a micron's hesitation, took the Director's hand. "I deserved to be treated the way you did, from everything you knew," he said quietly, "so there's nothing to apologize for. I was somewhat ... surprised at first when I wasn't treated ... worse - physically or verbally. But no one on the team ever made any comments or anything. I'd be proud to join the team more fully as long as everyone's comfortable with that, but I'll ... understand if it doesn't work out."
Ariadne stood and joined the pair, Calgor stepping back to be flanked by Croft and the Opposer. "Before we close," Ariadne said, "I think it's important for our viewers to realize the permanent constraints you live under. Would you tell us about your physical limitations and the conditions of your parole?"
"I wear leg braces, can't really walk without them, and outside my quarters I wear a back brace. I have to watch what I eat and drink. That's really all, physically. As far as my parole, I have a strict curfew and I'm restricted in what I can talk about and where I can go within the Fleet. It's not really that bad," Starbuck said.
"I think you're downplaying a great deal, Starbuck," Ariadne rejoined. "But we'll leave it at that. That concludes our segment on Starbuck. We'll leave it to our viewers - has there been a miscarriage of justice? And if there has, what can be done about it?"
***
Part 4
"Can I go now?"
"Of course, Starbuck. But what's the rush?"
"My curfew. If I don't catch the next shuttle to the Galactica, I'll miss it."
"Frak! I forgot all about it."
"That's okay; it's my responsibility." Starbuck turned to go. At the studio door, he turned back and spoke shyly. "Hey. Thanks for ... doing this. If nothing else, it may make things ... friendlier at work. I could use friendly. And, Ulysses?"
"Yeah, Starbuck?"
"Thanks for, umm, treating me like just a regular person. That hasn't happened in a long time."
"You *are* a normal person. It's your supposed friends who are the idiots," Ulysses rejoined. "Listen, will you be okay on the shuttle by yourself?"
Starbuck shrugged. "I have the pass to be off the Galactica if anyone questions me."
"That isn't what I meant."
"I'll survive." He gave a half-hearted grin. "I'm good at surviving." He lingered in the doorway, reluctant to leave these two strangers who made him feel like he deserved to live again. "Well, thanks again," he said and slowly walked away.
***
Ulysses closed up his equipment case quickly, almost throwing the fragile lenses in his haste. "I'm gonna try to catch up with him, Ari," he said, heading to the door.
"Good idea," Ariadne agreed. "I'll finish up here. See you next duty shift."
***
Apparently not everyone had watched the interview, or perhaps the ticket seller simply didn't believe what he had heard. When Starbuck approached, he turned his back and, when Starbuck remained at the window, politely offering his pass and asking for a ticket, he turned again, spat in his face, then pulled the shade over the window.
Starbuck sighed and turned away, wiping his face with his sleeve. He stood against the wall as the ticketed passengers boarded the last shuttle to the Galactica. Carefully he pocketed the pass, it might save him some grief later, and slid down the nearest wall to a seated position. Security would come looking for him soon enough.
Ulysses careened around the corner as the shuttle doors closed. He cursed under his breath and turned away, tripping over Starbuck's feet as he did. "Starbuck! What happened?"
Starbuck shrugged. Ulysses thought it was his most common gesture. "The usual. The ticket seller couldn't see me."
"Couldn't see ...? He refused to sell you a ticket?" Starbuck nodded. "What are you going to do now?"
"Wait for Security. When I don't check in, they'll look here pretty quick. They'll give me a lift home eventually."
Ulysses tried not to imagine what else they'd give him, but failed. Croft's words were too fresh in his mind. Thinking quickly he said, "Wait right here," and strode to the nearest public comm unit. "Battlestar Galactica, operator. Thanks."
~Galactica communications.~
"Yes, can you connect me to Captain Apollo's comm unit?"
~Captain Apollo is not currently on-duty. Is this an emergency?~
"Yes, it's an emergency."
~I'll connect you with Security. One micron, please.~
"No! It's a *personal* emergency. I must speak with Captain Apollo!"
~I'll have to get clearance. Who shall I say is calling?~
"Ulyss - look, he won't recognize the name. Tell him it's in reference to Lieutenant Starbuck. Please."
~Starbuck is no longer a lieutenant,~ the remote voice informed him. ~One micron while I get clearance.~ There was a pause and muffled voices could be heard over the comm line.
Ulysses tapped his feet impatiently and glanced over to make sure Starbuck was all right. Security had not made an appearance, but the ticket seller had apparently called some of his cronies and they stood over the seated man, who was looking up at them warily.
Before Ulysses could react, the operator came back on the line. ~I'm connecting you to Captain Apollo now, sir.~
~Apollo here. Who is this and what do you want with Starbuck?~ The voice sounded angry to Ulysses' ear.
"Captain, my name is Ulysses and I'm Ariadne's cameraman." He was interrupted by a sharp crack and turned to see Starbuck cringing, hands held protectively over his head. One of the men surrounding him swung a blackjack and a second crack sounded. Starbuck crumpled and moaned. "Captain, I'm in the shuttle bay of the Rising Star. Starbuck is being assaulted; I'm going to try to stop it, but I'd appreciate it if you could get me some assistance - there are five of them."
He hung up and ran over to the thugs, grabbing the arm of the blackjack wielder and yanking it up and back. Instantly two of the others grabbed his arms, while the other three began ummeling Starbuck in earnest. As he struggled he heard shouts: "Security. Break it up now! All right, don't make us stun you!" Then something hit him on the side of the head and the world went black and silent.
***
Apollo immediately rang the duty office to locate any warriors who were on the Rising Star. Finding Giles and Deitra had logged out to the floating casino, he commed them and explained the situation. Then he commed Colonel Tigh, to try to prevent a disaster with Security in the middle of it.
"Too late, Captain," Tigh said grimly. "I just got a report that Starbuck assaulted the Rising Star's shuttle ticket seller and some of his friends who were walking him to his quarters after he closed up."
"And you believe that?" Apollo yelled into the comm unit.
"In the melee a civilian was injured as was Starbuck. The ... gentlemen ... who were originally assaulted were unharmed."
"Of course," Apollo growled.
"To answer your question, no, I don't believe it. And Reese doesn't know me very well if he thought I would," Tigh continued. "In any event, I've ordered Security to hold everyone. Fortunately, the five 'victims' were still around waiting to make statements. Lieutenants Bojay and Sheba were on the bridge. I've sent them in a shuttle to pick everyone up and bring them back here."
"Sheba! We'll be lucky if Starbuck is alive when the shuttle docks."
"I'm not sure you're right, Apollo. Sheba and Bojay were on the bridge asking to speak to your father and myself in private. Something about righting a wrong. I was about to call the Commander when the Security report came in."
"I'll be right there."
"Captain, please stay in your quarters. I want everything handled cleanly this time. There can be no hint of a conspiracy, setup, or cover-up."
Apollo was silent for several microns. "All right, I see your point, Colonel. Please keep me informed."
"I will. Tigh out."
***
Starbuck opened his eyes slowly. He was lying on his back in a bed in a darkened room. A pattern of light played across the ceiling. But he wasn't in his quarters. The light-and-shadow display came from a view port and Lords knew his quarters didn't have a view port. But it was strangely familiar, as though he'd lain in exactly this position in this bed before. He whimpered, not sure where he was, and fearing what was to come.
"Shh, Starbuck. It's all right. You're safe."
"Apollo?" Starbuck whispered in astonishment. He knew exactly where he was and knew he was dreaming. This dream was worse than his nightmares, because it brought back memories of something wonderful that he would never have again. Tears pooled in his eyes and overflowed to run down his cheeks.
"Yes, it's me. Do you know where you are?"
"In your quarters. In your bed," he whispered sadly. Then he realized it wasn't a dream. "Captain!" He tried to sit up, but moaned in pain and let Apollo push him back onto the pillows. "I ... I'm sorry, sir. I didn't - at least I think I didn't ..."
"Easy, Starbuck. It's okay. You took a hard hit to the head and several more to your shoulders and back. Lie still."
"How did I get here, sir?" Starbuck asked, remembering to be polite. Sometimes if you were polite, they didn't hurt you as much.
Apollo remembered Salik's caution that Apollo should make sure Starbuck didn't have any memory loss before he gave him information. "What do you remember?" he asked gently.
"Umm, after the show, everyone left and then I looked at the chrono. I had to rush to try to make the last shuttle back. Only the ticket seller wouldn't sell me a ticket. Then Ulysses came; I think he was checking up on me. Then he went to call someone - Security, I guess, even though I told him they'd be there looking for me soon anyway. And then the ticket seller and some other ... men were kicking at me and one of them had a blackjack." He furrowed his brow. "That's all I remember."
"That's okay, then," Apollo assured him. "You got hit and lost consciousness. Security broke up the fight - such as it was."
"Ulysses!" Starbuck sat bolt upright and immediately regretted it as nausea warred with dizziness to see which would overcome him first. Apollo held him still until he fought both down. Pulling back, but not losing the contact, Starbuck asked, "Where's Ulysses? Is he all right?"
"He's fine. He didn't get hit as hard as you did. Ariadne came and took him back to her quarters. She'll watch him to make sure he has no bad after effects."
"Why am I here?"
"Ulysses and I decided this was the best place to keep you safe."
"Oh. Safe?"
Apollo laughed and ruffled the blond hair. "You've caused quite an uproar throughout the Fleet with that show."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
"Hey, easy. It's okay. It made a lot of people do some hard thinking they should have done yahrens ago. Including me."
"What do you mean?"
"Lords, Starbuck, I never went to see you in prison. If I had, if anyone had, you might not have gone through ..."
Starbuck shook his head. "Don't. You couldn't have stopped them. Besides, why should you visit a ... a convicted rapist? And how would it have looked, the Strike Captain, the Commander's son showing favor to a sick pervert?"
Apollo shook his head. "You're none of those things, and I knew it. I *knew* it. But I let myself be convinced ..." He stroked Starbuck's hair. "And after I knew what happened, I didn't want to see ... "
"You didn't want to see me. Of course not. Forget it, Captain. I ... I think this was a bad idea. I'll be fine in my quarters." He rolled away from Apollo and tried to get up.
"Oh, no you won't." Apollo easily restrained him and pushed him back against the pillows once again, this time holding him there by the shoulders. "You're too badly hurt and it's too dangerous. You're staying here for now. That's an order."
"Yes, sir," came the meek reply. Telling the Captain he was no longer his superior officer would only result in a beating, Starbuck thought. And it was nice to be here again, even if under false pretenses. He resolved to drink in every micron; commit every sound, sight, and touch to memory; store it all away to savor during the lonely centars.
"What I started to say -now don't interrupt me, Starbuck - was that I didn't want to see what they'd done to you. And then I was so ashamed at not going to see you in Life Center, that I never called or dropped by to see how you were doing once you were released. I'm so sorry, Starbuck. Will you forgive me?"
"Nothing to forgive, sir," Starbuck returned promptly. "You did the right thing. Associating with me would have been the worst thing you could have done." His eyes started to drift shut.
"Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
Starbuck nodded and let his body relax. He was soon deeply asleep.
Apollo rose and adjusted the covers over the thin, scarred body. "You're wrong, Starbuck. I deserted you out of my own stupid pride. *That* was the worst thing I could have done - to both of us."
Part 5
"Why is it that the wheels of justice move so fast when they're making a horrible mistake, but seem stuck in frozen felgercarb when they're correcting it?"
"Is that a rhetorical question, Captain?" Boomer asked his CO laconically, putting down the two glasses of ambrosa and sitting with a sigh of contentment.
"I guess. Frak! Starbuck *can't* move out again. I can't let him go, Boomer, I can't." Apollo stared at the glass in front of him as if it might contain the solution to his distress.
"Not to put too fine a point on it, Captain, but have you told *him* that?"
"I've tried. In my way," Apollo hedged.
"In your way, huh? Could I have a translation of that?"
Apollo looked unhappy. "Half the time he thinks he's dreaming. The rest of the time he acts so submissive I'm inclined to ask him to give Boxey lessons. He doesn't believe things are in motion to exonerate him and with the gag order, I can't show him any proof."
"I take it 'trust me' doesn't work."
"Did it ever? That's his line. No, not even that's true. That was the *old* Starbuck's line. And my job was to roll my eyes, know I was being conned, then go along anyway against my better judgment."
Boomer shook his head and raised his glass, staring at the amber liquid inside. "Bucko never really trusted any of us, did he? And damned if he wasn't right not to!" He slammed the glass down with such force it shattered, spraying ambrosa over the table. An orderly hurried over to clean up the mess.
"Feel better?" Apollo asked, lifting his own glass and checking for shards. Not that he had drunk from it or appeared likely to.
Boomer nodded, then changed the motion to a negative head-shake. "No. And I don't know that I ever will. I don't even deserve to feel sorry for myself. That's the worst of it. I didn't *really* betray him - even though I feel like I did. I didn't lie, I didn't assault him, all I did was - *nothing*."
"Here." Apollo pushed his untouched glass over to Boomer. "Maybe it'll help."
"You trying to get me drunk, buddy?" Boomer said in disbelief.
"If it will help, sure. I wish I could drink away my feelings. Or break something like you just did. Anything. I feel like I'm twisted into knots, but it doesn't show, does it?"
Boomer shook his head. "You're just a little more depressed and depressing than usual," he admitted.
"My father trained me too well," Apollo said bitterly. "I'm a good little soldier. Can't do a frakking thing to tarnish the image or embarrass the Commander. Even if it means letting the person I love the most think I don't believe in him! Well, frak the image!" Apollo grabbed the tall glass back and downed its contents in one gulp. Then he demonstrated the skills he honed on the Triad courts by standing up, wheeling around, and hurling the empty glass across the room and into the mirror behind the bar. It shattered with echoing beautiful musical notes. All it did was make Apollo think of the beautiful shattered man lying in his quarters.
***
"You did what?" Cassiopeia shrieked.
"I told the truth. Something I should have done long ago," Sheba replied calmly. If Bojay had been there, he would have realized she was too calm.
"Do you realize what you've done? We'll *die* for this - or wish we had! I don't want to be someone's whore - especially not some female criminal's whore!" She lunged at Sheba, who fended her off easily.
"But it was all right for Starbuck to become the whore of all the male criminals, to say nothing of the prison guards, wasn't it?" Sheba asked.
"He deserved it!" Cass replied hotly, keeping her distance from the Warrior.
Sheba continued her thought as if Cass hadn't even responded. "That was the plan all along, wasn't it? You lied to me when you said you'd drop the charges once he'd gotten the point." When Cass didn't reply, she finished in the same matter-of-fact voice, as if she were discussing which restaurant to go to on the Rising Star. "I should have realized it during the trial. And I should have confessed as soon as the verdict came in, when I did realize it. Well, no matter, I've done what I can to ensure justice prevails. Almost all I can." She raised her laser pistol. "Goodbye, Cassie."
Cassie ran wild-eyed out of her quarters, not realizing that, had Sheba intended it, she would have been dead before she turned for the door. Behind the closed door, a laser pistol whined on overload for a few centons. Then there was a muffled explosion.
***
"Uncle Starbuck, are you awake?"
The honorific title in the hesitant whisper brought pleasant memories and a smile to Starbuck's lips. But the cracking voice of puberty grounded him in the present and the smile faded with the memories. He opened his eyes, but didn't turn his head. "Yeah, kid, I'm awake. Does your dad know you're here, though? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't approve of you seeing me."
"I don't give a frak," Boxey snarled. "He kept me from seeing you for five yahrens, wouldn't let me go to the Prison Barge or Life Center, wouldn't let anyone tell me where you were quartered, but he can't keep me away now that we're living in the same quarters."
"That's only temporary," Starbuck said, staring once again at the shadow art on the ceiling. "Until I'm well enough to defend myself or the uproar dies down. And I'd wager you're not supposed to be living here right now. Let's see." He paused for a micron. "You're on an extended visit to your grandfather's quarters, right?"
"You always could outthink all of them," Boxey said admiringly.
"No," Starbuck corrected him harshly. "I slipped up once. Didn't outthink Cassiopeia. And once was all it took."
"You must hate all of us."
Starbuck turned his head at the hopelessness in the boy's voice. "Hate all of you? No. I ... I'm not sure I even hate Cass. And you? I could never hate you. You didn't do anything to me. You were just a little boy when ... it happened."
"I could have snuck away to see you." Boxey's hard shell cracked. He collapsed at the side of the bed, his face in the edge of the mattress. "I could have tried harder to convince them. I could have run away, gone with you when they turned you out."
"Whoa! You've got it wrong there. You couldn't have snuck anywhere. I was behind bars, guarded by Security. All that would have happened if you tried is you would have gotten into big trouble. And if you had tried to come with me or follow me when I left, I would have taken you back."
Boxey just shook his head. "I still should have tried."
Starbuck was still processing Boxey's words. "Did you say 'they' turned me out?" Boxey nodded. Starbuck rolled onto his side and lifted the boy's head. "Look at me." Boxey lifted red-rimmed eyes in a tear-tracked face to meet serious blue ones. As soon as he did, Starbuck removed his hand. "Have I ever lied to you?"
"No, Uncle Starbuck. You never lied, even when Dad told you to."
"And I'm not going to start lying now. You've got something wrong and I'm going to tell you the truth. No one turned me out. Your grandfather came here and told your Dad he *should* send me back to bachelor quarters, but he didn't order me to go and he didn't reassign me. Your father refused to do what he wanted."
"But you packed up and left. And you were crying. And Daddy just sat on the couch." Boxey was so distraught he didn't realize he'd reverted to calling his father 'Daddy'. "He didn't try to stop you. He didn't say anything. He didn't cry. He just sat there and watched you leave. Then he sat and stared at the door. All night."
"All night?" Starbuck echoed. Boxey nodded. Starbuck shook his head to focus - it didn't matter, it was too long ago - then tried to explain. "I left because ..." Starbuck ground to a halt. He had left to spare Apollo. He had left because his disgrace would rub off on Apollo undeservingly. "I left because your grandfather was right. My being there didn't help me any and it was going to hurt your dad."
Boxey digested that. "You left because ... it was the right thing to do?" he asked.
"Yes," came a voice from the doorway. "That's why he left - because he loved me and you don't hurt the ones you love, even to save yourself from pain." Apollo sat on the edge of the bed and put one hand on Boxey's back and the other on Starbuck's leg. "But he was mistaken; being with me wouldn't have hurt me. And I was even more wrong to let him go."
"And grandpa? He was wrong, too. And he tried to make you do it - both of you."
"No," both men spoke at once. Apollo took Starbuck's hand and nodded at him to continue.
"Commander Adama can't just be your grandfather, your dad's dad, or my ... friend. He has to be much more than that. He's the Commander of the Fleet. He has to do and say what's right for the Fleet, no matter what he thinks privately," Starbuck said, staring directly into Boxey's eyes so the boy could see he believed what he was saying.
***
Part 6
After Boxey had calmed down and accepted what Apollo and Starbuck told him, he sheepishly said, "Is it okay if I go back to Grandfather's? I think I've got some apologizing to do."
Apollo assured him that would be fine and walked him to the door. He could hear the noise of angry people in the halls and wondered what had caused the renewed turmoil. "Wait a micron, son," he told Boxey. Let's find out what this is all about."
Quickly Apollo commed the duty office, to learn of Sheba's suicide and the destruction it had caused. Unfortunately, the IFB had learned of it, too, and one of the less scrupulous reporters had put it on the air.
"Cassiopeia's quarters? Then she's dead, too?" Apollo asked.
"Only one body was found, Captain," Sergeant Jolly reported. "Life Center says the bio-traces match Lieutenant Sheba." He paused. "That leaked out, too. And there's more."
"I don't think I want to know," Apollo muttered.
Jolly didn't hear him or disregarded the words. "Uh, seems the reason the IFB was poking around the civilian women's quarters was to get a statement from Cass. The Council made an announcement about a centar ago - full disclosure of Dr. Salik's judgment that Cass wasn't raped, Sheba's confession, they laid out the whole mess. Restored Starbuck's rank and privileges - said there'd be a ceremony in a secton or so - and then laid the blame for the mess on everyone but them not doing their jobs right." The silence on the other end of the line disturbed Jolly. "Captain, you there?"
"Yeah, Jolly, I'm here."
"Boomer took a group to find Cass; they figure she's on the run - maybe down in the Pit. And there are mobs all over looking for her, too. Hang on a micron." He turned away from the comm unit. "Yes, sir. Matter of fact that's who I'm talking to now. Yes, sir, I'll tell him." Jolly came back online. "Captain? That was the Colonel. He's deployed all the Security forces to try to control the mobs and he wants all the warriors doing the same, so I gotta go. He says if you could take over the command center here - he means the duty office - he'd appreciate it."
"All right. Do you know where my father is?"
"On the bridge, sir. There's a skeleton crew up there - everyone who can handle firearms is out doing crowd control or searching."
"Fine, I'll be there as quickly as I can get through the crowds. Apollo out." He turned to Boxey. "Son, I think you ought to stay here with Starbuck."
"Okay, Dad. But Dad?"
"Yes, what is it, Boxey, I've got to hurry."
"Just ... be careful. I love you, you know."
"Yeah, me, too," came a soft voice from the bedroom doorway. Starbuck was leaning on the doorjamb for support. "Come back safe - I need you." Apollo looked at him in utter astonishment. "What?" Starbuck asked. "Do you think you're the only one who can sneak into a room and eavesdrop?"
Apollo shook his head. "How much did you hear?"
"Enough. I'm sorry about Sheba."
"You don't think she deserved it for what she did to you?"
"Nobody deserves to feel so guilty they kill themselves," Starbuck said. "I know. I've been there. Besides, she came clean at the end - when she realized what she'd started. She didn't get what she wanted either."
"What do you mean?" Apollo asked.
"I couldn't figure it out - why she was in on it, you know, back when they ... trapped me. So I asked her - 'What's in it for you?'" Starbuck laughed, but it was ragged and bitter. "You know what she told me?" Apollo shook his head. "I knew it. You never even realized - she wanted you, Captain. From the micron she set eyes on you, she wanted you. But then we got together - her rival was another man, not even a woman. She and Cass were of one mind on that and I guess that's when they started plotting. Sheba, she just wanted me to look bad in your eyes. Cass wanted me to go through Hades." He sighed. "Well, she got her wish." He sagged and Apollo ran to catch him before he collapsed.
Apollo lay Starbuck back in bed and covered him. "Rest, love. I have so much to make up to you - and I will. But - "
Starbuck smiled. "But right now you've got to go save the Galactica from her inhabitants. I know. I'll be right here."
Apollo kissed him softly on the lips and ran for the door, stopping only to give Boxey a quick hug. "I'll be back as soon as I can," he promised. "Keep the door locked. Don't let anyone in unless you know who they are."
***
"Let me in, please! They're mad out here! Please let me in!" the frightened female voice accompanied the banging on the door.
Boxey called out, "I can't ma'am. Go to the nearest Security station. I can't open the door."
"Please, the power's gone out and they're going to trample me in the dark, I know they will. I can't go any farther. Please!"
The power had gone out, but Apollo had used the emergency comm to tell Boxey how to start the generator in the cooking area, so there was some light and heat in the rooms. The sounds and the pleading voice brought back dim memories of his last night on Caprica to Boxey. He went to the bedroom doorway to ask Starbuck's advice, but the man lay in an exhausted sleep. The pleading and banging continued. "All right," Boxey called, coming to a decision. "I'm coming."
"Oh, thank you, young man," the woman in a tattered dress with a shawl covering her head and shoulders whimpered as Boxey opened the door using the manual override . "You don't know how much I appreciate this." Then she straightened and threw the shawl off. "Especially since that mob is looking for me!" she hissed. Before Boxey could react, Cass, for it was she, pushed him out into the hallway and sealed the door. Then she reached into her carry-sack and pulled out a jar of lighting fluid and a lighter. "Where are you, Starbuck?" she purred. "Come to Cassiopeia. I'm going to burn in Hades, it's true - but I'm going to take you with me!" Her voice had risen to a roar, but now she muttered to herself, "The bedroom. Of course. He's hopped right back into Apollo's bed. Well, it will be his funeral bed now - his and mine!"
Starbuck had been awakened by the noise that came through the open outer door. He rose painfully and slowly edged his way to the living area. It took several microns before he registered the muttering voice coming towards him. He reached the doorway just as she did from the other side. "Cass?" he gasped.
"Come to greet me, lover? We're gonna go out in a blaze of glory!" She crowed, pushing him back into the room and onto the bed. She appraised him as he lay there, his concussion and the sudden movements rendering him helpless. "You're a wreck," she announced. "I don't think I'd even want you now." She tore his nightshirt off exposing the scars that covered his body. "No," she said, using her foot to turn him back over when he rolled onto his stomach to hide his disfigurement. "I definitely wouldn't want you now. I doubt that Apollo will either when he gets a look at you. On the other hand, he's such a pervert he just might. And I won't have that, you know."
Starbuck heard the noise of the outer door being broken down. Cass didn't seem to notice. He half rose and reached out towards her. "Cass, you don't have to do this," he said.
Cass spat in his face and pushed him down again, straddling him. "It may make you feel better to know being in contact with you nauseates me," she told him. "But I didn't have time to find anyone to help me - Sheba turned out to be quite the little coward, you know - or to get restraints. But I think I can hold you down while I tie you. Then we can burn together."
Starbuck struggled to no avail. All he succeeded in doing in his weakened state was cause Cass to spill the lighter fluid all over herself. She snarled and used the empty jar to stun him. Then she tore up his nightshirt and used it to tie him to the bedposts by wrist and ankle. "You frakking boray!" she yelled. "Now I'll have to lay on top of you to make sure you go with me!"
"No, Cass, please. No one else has to die," Starbuck told her.
Just then the door broke in. Several men rushed through the living area and into the bedroom, followed by Boxey.
Cass turned and sat atop Starbuck, luring the men closer. "Come and get me!" she coaxed, laughing at them. "Come and get me before I ..." she held up the lighter and mimed setting fire to Starbuck's hair.
"No!" screamed Starbuck. "Keep away! She's covered in lighter fluid - you'll all go up with us!"
Boomer broke through the crowd, parting them with his arms as if he were swimming against a tide. Not pausing to listen to her taunts, he pulled Cass off Starbuck and threw her into the living area. Trusting the crowd to restrain her, he turned to the man on the bed and began untying him.
He had just lifted Starbuck up to check that he wasn't injured, when he heard "Burn, bitch!" and the whoosh of an accelerated fire. The two men rushed out of the bedroom, Starbuck forgetting his nudity and his injuries in his haste. Cass was covered in flames and laughing hysterically as she stood in the middle of the living area and burned. The crowd stood in a circle around her, a safe distance from the flames and chanted, "Burn, bitch; burn, bitch!"
"What are you doing?" Starbuck screamed, pushing through the circle to get to the burning woman. Boomer and Boxey both reached to stop him, but they were too late. Starbuck tackled Cass around the waist and rolled with her around the floor, smothering the flames. When the fire was out, he found he was partially stuck to her, their skin having melted into one another's. Cassie was still laughing, her eyes rolled back in her bald and burned head. "You people are worse than Cylons!" Starbuck cried at the crowd. "You're worse than ... than *she* is!" Cass's laughter became hoarse then faded altogether at about the same time Starbuck collapsed into unconsciousness atop her.
***
"He's coming around," Dr. Salik said, stepping back from the bed to give Apollo room to see his beloved.
"Starbuck?" he called softly as the man's eyelids fluttered.
Bleary blue eyes tracked the voice and cracked lips smiled. "'Pol, you're all right," Starbuck croaked.
"I wasn't the one in danger," Apollo replied.
"Boxey - is he okay?"
"He's fine. A little shook up by what he saw, but he says it was really no worse than the Destruction. That's what the whole night reminded him of."
"Cass?"
Dr. Salik spoke. "I'm sorry, Starbuck. You did all the right things, and we tried our best but, well, she just didn't want to live."
Starbuck nodded sadly. "How bad off am I?" he asked, his voice still a harsh whisper.
"Well, the front of your body, from the middle of your chest down, was badly burned, and we had to slough off the burned skin. We're going to keep you here until the we're sure the skin grafts all take. We don't want to risk infection."
"Then what?"
"Then you should be fine. By that time, it'll take several sectons, your, ah, previous injuries should be completely healed."
Starbuck turned back to Apollo and repeated his question. "Then what?"
"Then I've got to take you home and fatten you up and get you back into shape to requalify in a viper" Apollo said with a grin.
"You don't have to take me home, Apollo," Starbuck said, dropping his eyes.
Apollo frowned. Dr. Salik discreetly left the two men alone. "Starbuck? What's wrong? What's changed? I thought ... I thought you were willing to try again - to let me make it up to you."
You don't owe me anything. I keep telling you that. You did the right thing - you did what you had to. So you don't have to take care of me."
"You said you still loved me, that you needed me."
Starbuck considered lying. But this was the man he loved more than life itself. If Starbuck lied, Apollo would spend the rest of his life punishing himself for imagined wrongs. Starbuck raised a hand to Apollo, who took it and kissed the palm. "I do love you." He paused. "I do need you. But you don't need me. You have one child to take care of, you don't need another needy person to drain you. I don't want you taking care of me out of guilt or obligation."
"Starbuck, I love you!"
"Don't lie!" Starbuck begged, closing his eyes, but still clinging to Apollo's hand. "Cass told me the truth - she was trying to hurt me, but she only made me face reality. No one could want me, not the way I look. And now it'll be worse with the burn scars." 'Let's not even go into the thoughts you'd be having of who and how many other men had been there before you,' he finished silently.
"Now you listen to me, Lieutenant!" Apollo gripped Starbuck's shoulders painfully. "I don't lust after your body - well, I do, but that's not all there is. And outer marks don't bother me. I love *you*. You're beautiful - yes, you're still beautiful, scars or no scars. But I wouldn't have slept with you just for that - or for your bedroom talent, so don't even say it." He shook the frail man below him. "*I* *LOVE* *YOU*, do you understand. I will wait until you're well enough for me to show you that - but I will show you. I love you, physically, emotionally, with all my being to all your being."
"Apollo. *Apollo*!" Starbuck gripped the strong wrists that were shaking him. "Enough. I believe you."
Apollo stopped shaking him and lay him down gently on the bed. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "I got carried away. I've been doing that a lot lately."
"It's okay," Starbuck assured him, patting his hand. "If you want me that badly, and I guess you do, you can have me." He smiled up into the loving green eyes and prayed to all the Lords of Kobol that they could restore what had been lost five yahrens before.
End