I know that most people don't think that I notice things like that but then most people don't know that I'm in love with my best friend. I hide it well or try to. It's been getting harder lately. I've stopped going out with women. I almost called Athena, "Apollo" the last time I was with her . . . nearly a yahren ago. Can't have that. Can't let it be known that I can barely stand to have him out of my sight . . . particularly since Serina died. He's still so sad. Losing her nearly killed him. How can I even think about what I want when he's so . . . wounded.
We've been walking while I was thinking and now we're out side his quarters. There is no reason for me to still be with him. I should have turned off, gone to my own quarters.
He turns to look at me. It's an odd look as if he's just realized something. I'm not sure what to do or say. For the first time in all the yahrens that we've been friends I feel awkward with him. "Uh, I guess I better . . ." I gesture nervously toward the direction of my quarters.
Before I can turn to go he reaches out and lays a hand on my arm. "Wait, Starbuck." He releases my arm and turns to open the door. "Come on in. Boxey's staying with Athena tonight and I'll have to relax a while before I can sleep." He hesitated, "You've been that way, haven't you? Too tired to sleep?"
"Yeah, I reckon I have." I follow him in not sure that I should. Something is happening and I don't know what.
He closes the door and takes off his jacket, gesturing for me to do the same as he crosses to the cabinet and takes out a bottle and two glasses.
Huh-oh! The last thing that I need is to start drinking while I'm alone with Apollo in his quarters.
He must sense that I'm reluctant because he says, "Just one, buddy. It'll help us sleep. More would leave us groggy tomorrow."
I don't know how to refuse so I nod and take the glass he offers me.
He drops down into a chair and stretches his legs out . . . and he looks at me. His gaze slides down my body, then he looks up into my eyes. That's all but it makes my mouth go dry . . . and my cock start to rise. I haven't even taken a swallow of my drink and I'm already in trouble here. I remember something that Boomer said the other day, 'Sometimes one drink is two drinks too many.' He meant it as a joke but I think I've just found a situation where it applies.
I drop my eyes away from his. I can't look into his eyes. He'll see the hunger, the raw need burning in them.
He sets his drink down on the table and very softly, he asks, "Help me with my boots?"
I can't refuse. He'd do it for me if I were as tired as he looks. I set my drink down and kneel at his feet. My hands start to shake as I lift one foot and begin removing the boot. I glance up, just a quick look to see if he's watching, if he knows how my hands are shaking. His eyes are closed. Thank the Gods for small favors!
I get the boot off and the sock, then remove the other boot and sock. I look up again. His eyes are still closed. His breathing is shallow and even. He could be asleep. I don't want to stop touching him even if it is just his feet, I raise one foot just enough to be able to get my thumbs under the sole and begin to massage it. I massage the arch and he sighs.
"That's nice," He murmurs then doses off as I continue the massage.
This time I'm sure he's asleep . . . and I can't help myself, I lean forward and kiss the top of the foot I've been massaging.
"That's even nicer."
I jerk away at the sound of his voice, suddenly ashamed. "I . . . I'm sorry." I stammer and start to draw away from him.
He smiles at me, "Don't be sorry, Starbuck. I liked it. Please, continue."
I don't know what to say. It never occurred to me that he might like to have me kiss his feet. I don't know what to do so I do as he says and bend to kiss his foot again. Now that I know that he likes it I can't control myself. I begin to lick his foot, using my tongue to bath it. I take his toes into my mouth, one at a time until I have thoroughly bathed each one with my saliva. I kiss my way along the sole of his foot to the arch then up his ankle.
He moans and I hear the sound of his pants being opened. He pulls his foot from my grip and plants both feet flat on the floor as he arches up to push his pants and underwear down. "Pull them off." He orders, sitting back and lifting his legs so that I can easily remove them.
I obey. I'm trembling with desire and anticipation as I lay the clothes aside and turn back to see his cock rising proud and hard from the dark curls of his crotch.
He leans forward and reaches out, caressing my face, then running his hand through my hair. "Oh, Starbuck." He whispers as he draws me closer, close enough to kiss.
It's long and tender, not at all what I expected. What I've dreamed of but never what I expected . . . but then I never expected to have him kiss me at all. I let my lips part and he slips his tongue into my mouth and I start to really shake. He slowly withdraws and kisses his way to my ear, nibbling at the lobe before whispering, "You're trembling. Is it desire or fear? You have nothing to fear from me. I would never hurt you. Please say that it's desire. That I have not misread you."
"Apollo! Oh, Apollo. I have desired you forever! I just never dreamed that you'd want me!"
"Not want you! How could I not want you? I have wanted you for yahrens! I would have taken you to my bed at the Academy if I had dreamed that you would have me!"
He lets me slip out of his grip, lets me sink back down on my knees till I am kneeling between his thighs, with his cock directly in front of my eyes. He reaches down and begins to stroke it as I watch, until I can no longer bear to watch and lean forward to take the head of it into my mouth. He guides it in then releases it letting me take complete control.
I look up at him, at the only person I have ever loved, then I bow my head and take him in my mouth. I run my tongue around the flared rim then gently suck the head. I release the head and tenderly kiss my way down the shaft to the base, bending even lower to lick his balls.
He slides forward on the chair, spreading his legs wider to give me better access and moaning deep in his throat. His hands wander to my head and he strokes my hair, gently at first then as I pick up the tempo his hands tighten, pushing me down on his cock as his hips begin to rise, thrusting into my mouth.
I pull back a little, needing room to work and he forces himself to release my head, gripping the arms of the chair as he arches up straining for his climax.
I concentrate on giving it to him, reaching out to cradle his balls in my hands, gently massaging them as he groans loudly. He cries out my name as he comes.
"Starbuck! Oh! Starbuck!" He leans back with a sigh, his eyes closing.
I sit back, wondering if he's going back to sleep. Knowing all too well, that words spoken in the heat of passion aren't real. The Gods know that I've said enough things I didn't mean while rolling around with some woman . . . but this time I meant every word. The thought that he might have just said what I needed to hear, in order to get what he wanted breaks my heart.
I rise. For just a moment I stand looking down at him. Then I turn away, trying to remember where I put my jacket, for some reason I can't remember . . . and my vision is blurring, I must be wearier than I thought. It can't be that I'm crying. It can't be.
I take a stumbling step forward, reaching out to the table to keep my balance.
Suddenly he's behind me, his arms sliding around me. "Where are you going, Love?" He kisses the back of my neck. "Get undressed and come to bed. It's your turn to be adored."
I turn in his arms. He draws me close . . . and kisses me. Another of those long, sweet kisses that make my head swim.
Stepping back he pulls his undershirt off in one quick movement then does the same with mine. Bending he licks then kisses one of my nipples. His tongue flicks across it. His lips close over it. He sucks it then releases it and goes for the other one. His hands are busy with my pants, unfastening them, pushing them downward. He turns me and slowly pushes me toward the bed. His hands are stroking and caressing. I am drowning in the sensations. By the time he lowers me to the bed and comes down on top of me I am almost sobbing in ecstasy.
The End