BY YOUR COMMAND - Static ARCHIVE

 

Starbuck kept a wary eye out for Apollo, ready to bolt again at the first sight of his former friend, but there was no sign of him. He talked Idris into buying a slave to protect his socialators and suggested Cade, since he had some relevant experience. Idris found the idea of owning a slave appealing. It was a sign of his wealth and place in society, in his opinion. So he went along with Starbuck's idea. Cade was almost embarrassingly grateful to Starbuck. He made a special point of letting customers know that anyone who hurt Starbuck or any of the socialators would suffer greatly.

Two more sectares passed and Starbuck made great progress. The doctors finished the surgical repairs on his face, and he was finally able to walk again without assistance. On a whim, he accompanied another one of Idris' socialators to the Triad courts. It had been a long time since he had even seen a match, so he couldn't resist.

The other socialator, Fintan, laughed gaily as he spoke. "I have to confess, Bucky, I was so sure you'd come with me that I signed us up to play."

"Uh, Fintan, I don't know that I *can* play. I don't know if my leg will take it."

"Oh, Bucky, it's not like it's a tournament. It'll be a friendly pick up game. It'll be fun."

"We'll see, Fintan, we'll see."

They had reached the courts at the same time as another pair looking for a match, the attendant told them.

"Great. We'll take them on," Fintan replied. "Let's go get dressed, Bucky."

"Fintan, I'm not sure this is such a good idea"

"Oh, you're no fun at all, Bucky. Come on to the locker room and get dressed."

Starbuck followed the other man into the locker room and changed into a rented Triad uniform. When they emerged from the locker room, a small crowd had gathered.

"I wonder what's up?" Starbuck asked.

"Oh, man, we are in trouble," Fintan said looking at the sign in front of the gallery. "We're up against the current champs."

"And who would that be?" he asked nervously.

"Us," a voice came from behind him.

"Apollo and Boomer," Fintan answered.

"Look, Fintan, I *know* this isn't a good idea," Starbuck said. He had recognized Apollo's voice before Fintan had announced their opponents' names.

"Apollo, maybe we shouldn't..." Boomer began.

"Why not, Boom-boom? They signed up, we signed up, let's play." Apollo was shaken at the sight of his lover with someone else and assumed it was either a client or a new lover.

Shaking his head, Starbuck followed the others onto the court. They started play and it soon became obvious to Starbuck that Apollo was going to take this match very seriously... and personally. Time after time Starbuck found himself shoved against the walls of the court, an elbow in his ribs. His leg quickly reminded him how foolish this was.

During one of the breaks, he stood panting by Fintan. "I don't think I can do much more, Fintan."

"But we're only two points behind, Bucky! We have to keep playing. Can you imagine if we actually *beat* the champions? Look, when we go out there, distract Apollo, socialator-style. I'll take care of Boomer."

'Socialator-style?' Starbuck thought to himself.

They circled up, ready for the ball. When it came out, Starbuck grabbed Apollo's arm and refused to let go. He pulled the other man close and kissed him on the lips. The crowd hollered and whooped as the kiss stretched out into a centon, two centons. Fintan got the ball from the distracted Boomer and sank it into the hole.

When Starbuck finally broke the kiss, they stood panting for a micron, then Starbuck smiled and said sweetly, "Our point."

He should have recognized the look in those green eyes. Lords knew he had seen it often enough at the Academy. Usually just before they were hauled in front of the commander for fighting. But he was still giddy from the kiss.

The next point started and it soon became obvious that Apollo had a vendetta. Convinced that Starbuck's partner was his new lover, he had noticed Starbuck was favoring his right leg, and kept bashing away at his opponent's weakness.

At the next break, Boomer tried to warn Apollo. "Apollo, this is just a fun game, right? You're playing like it was Reese out there or something."

"Just for fun, Boomer," he replied, keeping his eyes on his former lover.

"Maybe you should take it a little bit easier on him, all right?"

Apollo ignored him. Boomer shook his head. "Look, Apollo, it's obvious that you're taking this very personally. He's had a rough time since he left."

"He stayed in touch with you, not me. He's treating me like a stranger. *I've* had a rough time since he left, too."

"I know, I've been there with you, remember? And as your friend, I'm asking you to take it easy on him. I can't believe he's even here. He shouldn't be playing after what happened."

The bell sounded for the players to return to the court.

"Just trust me, all right?" Boomer almost begged.

Apollo's rage had to have an outlet, and, right now, that outlet was Starbuck. He went after his former lover with a vengeance. The officiator had to break the game at one point because Starbuck's face was bleeding profusely, the new repairs not able to take the abuse.

Starbuck's doctor entered the gallery. As he recognized the players, his face grew first serious, then angry. He headed for the court to put a stop to this match.

They started up again. This time, when the ball was thrown in, Apollo didn't let go of Starbuck's arm. He swung him around into the wall. Starbuck's leg finally gave out, collapsing under him. He shrieked as he fell, clutching his leg.

"Starbuck!" Boomer yelled.

"Bucky?" Fintan called.

Starbuck's doctor ran down onto the court. "What in hell is going on here? Bucky, what do you think you're doing? You're his friend," the doctor said to Boomer. "Why did you let him even start this game?"

Apollo stood to the side, totally confused. Who was this man and how did he know Boomer and Starbuck? He finally figured out the man was a doctor who had been treating Starbuck.

Boomer came over to him. "Come on, go take a turbowash, *buddy.* I tried to warn you, but, no, you wouldn't listen. You didn't see what he went through after that boray..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried to, but..."

Apollo gestured Boomer's response away angrily. "I mean at the time. You let him go through that alone? I should have been with him."

"He didn't want you anywhere near him. He wouldn't tell me why, but he was positive about that one thing."

Apollo fell against the wall, his head in his hands. "Oh, Boomer, how did things get this screwed up?"

"I don't know, Apollo. Look, I'm sorry I ..."

"I asked for it, Boomer. You did try to warn me. I miss him so much and what do I do? The first time I see him, I try to hurt him."

"And succeed," Boomer said as he saw Starbuck being helped from the court, his face still contorted in pain, right leg dragging behind him.

"Starbuck," Apollo said, intending to apologize as his former lover passed him.

"No sweat, 'Pol. Good game. You saw a weakness and you exploited it. That's what I would have done," Starbuck panted out.

The doctor shoved Apollo out of the way with his free hand. "Excuse me, I need to get this man to Life Center."

Starbuck gave his lover a look full of hurt and love as he was led away. Boomer restrained his captain as he tried to move after them.

"Let it go, Apollo."

"Get away from me."

"Apollo, I..."

Apollo ignored his friend and headed for the locker room, wavering between grief and unreasoning anger. He was as confused and hurt as he had been the day he found out Starbuck had resigned and left him. He wanted to hurt someone as badly as he hurt.

Boomer shook his head. He had recognized the look in his friend's eyes, but hadn't done anything about it. That made him as guilty as Apollo. And he didn't like that feeling one little bit

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Despite the setback, Starbuck's recovery proceeded well. He spent more time in the gym, building muscle that looked strange to Robardel, used as he was to his old friend's more slender physique.

Del followed Starbuck much of the time, concerned for his friend's well-being. He was worried that Starbuck would lapse into depression after the way Apollo had treated him. The despair was certainly there, those first few days.

Robardel shuddered as he remembered Starbuck's eyes the day after that Triad match. There was no light in them for the first time that he could remember. Even when he had been raped by Cade and spent so much time in the orphanage infirmary, something had been there. This time Starbuck lay in Life Center looking lost while the torn muscles in his leg healed - again, while the doctor tried to repair his face - again. That hadn't been totally successful. While slashing his face, Brenyn had damaged the nerves of his right eyelid. That lid still drooped, more when he was tired or under stress. There was nothing the doctor could do about that. A few of the reopened gashes on his face refused to heal properly, leaving faint scars.

The whole time, he had barely spoken to anyone, not even Robardel, who was there every day.

After he left Life Center, walking with a cane for support, things more or less returned to normal. Robardel saw less of Starbuck, because he was working on his own recovery. He could now take a step or two with the aid of a walker now. It was a huge victory and Geila pushed him to take advantage of his momentum, as she called it.

Starbuck returned to his life, spending most of his evenings in Idris' bar shooting the breeze with the customers. His leg hadn't healed enough yet to allow him to return to his former activities, which suited him just fine. He was still popular with the regulars, who would talk him into 'performing' for them in the bar. His entrance was always greeted by cheers, especially on the nights he played Pyramid.

Except that Starbuck was going to return to his usual duties, this night was no different. At least, not to begin with. Starbuck had not yet made his appearance, preferring a dramatic entrance.

The new customer spoke with Idris for a long time before handing over a huge number of cubits. He sat back with a smile and a glass of the best ambrosa he'd had in a long time. They must be getting it on the black market somehow, he thought to himself as he enjoyed the taste. He waited for the socialator he had requested.

He heard a commotion behind him. Several of the men shouted a name, and the new customer smiled - it was the one he was waiting for. He turned to see what was causing the excitement and saw a strikingly handsome man smiling at the head of the stairs. The new man hadn't seen him yet.

"Bucky! About time you showed up!" one of the men teased, as the new arrival sauntered down the stairs.

"Put it down to nerves, Sire Doran. This is, after all, my first night back on the job." He leaned over and gave the older man a kiss on the lips. Idris tapped Starbuck on the shoulder and pulled him aside to speak with him. Starbuck beamed slyly at him as he spoke, then nodded. Sire Doran reached for his shapely rear, but Starbuck evaded the groping hand, saying, "Sorry, Sire Doran, but my sorry astrum is paid for for the entire night."

"Oh, no fair! You've been out of commission for so long, Bucky, and now we can't even get a little feel?"

"Oh, don't pout, old friend, there's always tomorrow night." He patted the man on the head and continued greeting his regular customers and Pyramid players. Idris prodded him in the back to remind him of the customer waiting for him.

"Table number seven, remember, Bucky?"

"I know, boss, I know. But I can't ignore my regulars, now, can I?" The men around him shouted their agreement. He looked triumphantly at Idris, who glowered at him for a moment, then moved off.

The new customer frowned at the familiar exchanges between Starbuck and the other men. The hands were a little too free and fresh for his taste. He had purchased the man's services for the night, after all.

Starbuck finally turned his attention to table number seven. The smile froze on his face as he recognized the newcomer. He turned nonchalantly and headed for Idris. It appeared that employer and employee were having a slight argument. Starbuck's flirty mien faded under an angry gesture, but when he turned back to the room, all trace of the anger had been subdued.

He headed stiffly back toward table number seven.

"Hello, my name is Bucky. I understand you're in need of company for the evening."

"That's right, *Bucky;* the whole night. I thought we'd start with dinner. Shall we go?"

"After you."

Once out in the hall, they let go of the charade.

"Apollo, why are you doing this?"

"I finally found you, Starbuck. It's taken me a long time, but I found you. Why did you leave?"

"I had to leave, Apollo. How did you find me?"

"After that Triad match, I did some more looking around here on the Rising Star." He brushed one of the remaining scars on Starbuck's face with the back of his hand.

Starbuck flinched at the touch. "Don't do this, Apollo, please."

Hurt by the apparent rejection of his touch, Apollo snapped, "What's wrong, Bucky?" 'He certainly seemed to enjoy the other men petting him!' Apollo thought to himself.

"Don't call me that! Not you!"

"What do you want me to call you, then? Somehow it doesn't feel right calling you Starbuck anymore, and Bucko is out of the question, too."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what? I'm taking you out to evening meal at one of your favorite places..."

"You wouldn't! Apollo, no! I can't go in there, not like this!"

"Why not? It's a very becoming outfit, a little revealing, maybe, but becoming nonetheless."

The outfit to which he was referring was a loose, flowing shirt belted at the waist, the color of Starbuck's eyes. It was open quite low, revealing the valley between his pectoral muscles rather nicely. The shirt was worn over a pair of white pants so tight they didn't leave much to the imagination. They showcased his rear end, his legs and his other attributes to perfection, but they were not what Starbuck would have chosen to wear if he'd known he was going to be seen by his old friends from Blue Squadron. Apollo was doubtful that the man could even sit down in them.

Apollo was getting more confused by the minute. He had intended this night to be like the old days, when they were all together but, so far, Starbuck was acting like it was a particularly harsh penance. The more confused he got, the angrier he got. From the beginning, he had been angry over Starbuck's desertion without a word. And to find that the man he loved had become an expensive whore!

Apollo had one thing right, though: Starbuck really did view this night as sheer torture. He still hated being a socialator. It hadn't been *so* bad as long as he was isolated from his old warrior friends. Tonight would be the first time he had really been around any of them since he'd resigned. The eyelid Brenyn had cut drooped lower the closer they got to the restaurant.

They finally reached their destination. Starbuck prayed that Apollo had reserved a private room, but he hadn't. Instead, their table was in the center of the room, just off the dance floor. The place wasn't full yet, since it was still quite early. Their waiter brought them a bottle of ambrosa chilled to perfection. Apollo, playing the good host, poured Starbuck a glass, then refilled it as the first glass was emptied in a gulp.

The first members of Blue Squadron to arrive were Giles and Greenbean, looking as awkward together as usual, one tall and downright skinny, the other compact and fit.

"Hey Starbuck!" Greenbean yelled across the room. "Long time, no see, buddy. How's it going?"

"Great, Greenbean, just great. Hi, Giles."

"Hi, Starbuck." He sounded awkward. 'He knows,' Starbuck realized.

"Isn't it great to see Starbuck again, guys?" Apollo asked. "I finally found him."

"Really, where was he?" Greenbean asked innocently.

"Right here on board the Rising Star."

"You're kidding. I thought you'd already looked here," Greenbean continued, making Starbuck squirm in his seat. "What're you doing here, Starbuck?"

"I'm a socialator, Greenbean."

"Oh. That's why the, uh, outfit, huh?"

Starbuck forced a smile and nodded. "Like it?" He sat back so they could get a good view. Fingering the blue shirt, he continued, "Pure silk. The boss isn't stingy when it comes to our working clothes," he announced with a challenging look at his oldest friend.

Apollo, in his turn, seethed over the performance. He might as well have told them that Apollo had paid for his presence tonight!

Giles took pity on his friend and pulled Greenbean away to the table where their dates were waiting. "See you later, Starbuck. Captain."

"Bye, guys."

The scene repeated itself all evening long. Old friends came up to their table, slapped Starbuck on the back, some making not so innocent comments, then left. Starbuck was charming but distant, humiliated at being thus paraded in front of his old friends. Apollo noticed when their meal came that Starbuck ate almost nothing, but drank the better part of the bottle of ambrosa by himself. When that one was emptied, Apollo had the waiter bring another one.

After Apollo finished eating and Starbuck finished playing with his food, the latter hoped they would just return to Idris' bar. No such luck. Apollo asked him to dance.

Starbuck paled. "What? Here? Apollo, I don't think, I mean… two men… here? Maybe it would be all right at Idris' place. Why don't we…"

"Here. Now." Apollo had been drinking steadily, too, and was getting angry at Starbuck's behavior. After all, he had meant this to be a pleasant evening for Starbuck, to let him get out of the depraved place he had chosen for himself, and all he could do was play with his food and seem miserable and embarrass his host. The Captain had worked himself into a state of righteous indignation and decided that, if Starbuck was determined to make this evening unpleasant, well, Apollo would just have to help him. He knew what kind of sensation it would cause for the two of them to dance here in the restaurant.

He rose from the table and offered his hand. Reluctantly Starbuck took it and followed him onto the dance floor. All eyes turned to stare as they took the floor. Apollo took Starbuck's right hand in his left and they began to dance.

After the drinking he had done, Starbuck's temper began to flare. He had had just about enough humiliation at the hands of his *former* friend. It was time now for payback. The music was perfect for a slow dance and Starbuck was a master of the seductive slow dance. He used every trick in his book to ensure that Apollo was thoroughly aroused.

After a few centons of *the treatment,* Apollo pushed Starbuck away and left the dance floor, leaving his partner behind. Unfortunately for Starbuck, *the treatment* aroused him as much as it had Apollo, and while Apollo's costume gave him a little protection from prying eyes, his own left nothing to the imagination. He quickly followed Apollo off the dance floor and out of the restaurant.

Neither said a word as they walked through the corridors until Apollo stopped to ask a question. "Where are your quarters? I mean, rooms?"

Without a word, Starbuck turned to go to his rooms. Apollo followed, equally silent.

All the way there, Apollo debated with himself about what he was going to do. He was furious with Starbuck for his behavior all night. 'How could he act his way?' he thought to himself. 'I wanted this night to be special for both of us, but look at him! He loves this lifestyle. He chose it over me!' Apollo wailed to himself.

They continued not speaking until they reached Starbuck's rooms. Once inside, Starbuck almost wished they were still not speaking.

"What the hell was *that? *" demanded Apollo angrily.

"Payback."

"For what? For taking you out for a nice dinner? Getting you out of that slime pit where you *work?* Trying to treat you to something a little better than what you've become accustomed to?"

"Of all the condescending… insulting… How dare you, Apollo? How dare you come in here like this and think I'm supposed to be grateful to you for flaunting the fact that I'm a whore in front of everybody I used to know?"

"How could they know that?" To himself Apollo thought, 'How dare he try this self-righteous act? After the way he behaved in the restaurant? And after what I saw in that bar?' If *that* was hating the job, then Apollo was a blond!

"Look at the way I'm dressed, Apollo. Know anybody else who'd wear this getup? I wouldn't if I didn't have to."

"You don't have to. You *used* to be a warrior. Until you quit, that is. I never thought I'd see the day when Starbuck would quit."

"I tried to request a transfer, but *your father* wouldn't let me, so I had no other choice. I couldn't stay, not after you…" Starbuck broke off, unable to say the words. "Why did you come here tonight?"

"I came for you."

Starbuck sneered defensively, "Many times. Miss it, did you? The only problem is now you have to pay for it."

"And now I know where you learned to do it so well," Apollo snapped in return.

"I *do* do it well, don't I?" Starbuck murmured.

"Well, now you *are* a whore, aren't you? And I've paid for you for the whole night. So do what you do best, whore."

Starbuck paled as he heard the man he loved finally admit the way he felt. He turned away quickly to keep from revealing the pain that showed in his eyes, anger evaporating in despair.

Apollo saw anyway. He'd regretted the words the centon they left his mouth, but he was still so angry he wouldn't allow himself to apologize. He'd been humiliated and wanted nothing more than to repay that feeling. He pulled Starbuck toward the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom Starbuck quickly stripped off his clothes, ridding himself of the tight pants that had become so uncomfortable. He knelt before his one-time best friend and began to strip him as well. Clothes gone, he began to pleasure Apollo gently, licking his way from the base of his cock to the tip.

Apollo moaned. It had been so long! After Starbuck had left, he had gone from having sex regularly to celibacy overnight. Consequently it didn't take long before he was coming in Starbuck's mouth. He reached down and gently stroked the blond hair, pulling it out of the blue eyes. As he stood there, he felt genuine remorse for the way he had treated Starbuck.

After pleasuring Apollo, the blond man just knelt on the floor, eyes downcast, prey to conflicting emotions. Apollo pulled him up and led him over to the bed. They tumbled together into the soft comforter on the bed, arms and legs twining. Apollo fastened his lips onto Starbuck's and as each one tasted what he had been missing for so many sectares, both temporarily forgot where they were.

Apollo kissed his way down Starbuck's neck, sucking eagerly. He found the hard nipples, already standing up for him, and suckled for a moment like a babe at its mother's breast. Unable to wait any longer, he stopped the tease and dove for Starbuck's crotch. Starbuck moaned as he felt Apollo's warm tongue begin its work. It had been so long since anyone had pleasured *him!* Eyes closed, he reached down to stroke Apollo's hair, shutting out everything else. As Apollo's tongue played around the head of his cock, he felt the pressure building, needing release. He started moaning almost constantly when his lover began to suck in earnest, crying out as he climaxed. Apollo couldn't swallow it all and lapped hungrily at the sticky white fluid that he had missed.

Feeling completely relaxed, Starbuck lay still as Apollo climbed back up and held him. "I've missed you so much," were the only words the blond could think of.

"I've got a lot to make up for," Apollo said as he pushed Starbuck over on to his stomach.

Knowing what was coming next, Starbuck spread his legs for easier access, unable to believe what was happening.

Apollo honestly (if naively) thought he could help his friend this way. He knew how Starbuck felt about being a socialator, but really believed it would be different with *him.* He stretched Starbuck carefully, just the way Starbuck always had with him, and used plenty of lube on both of them.

Starbuck made the appropriate noises of appreciation, but in his head he kept up an argument with himself about how to deal with this. He became aroused again, the part of his brain that controlled arousal siding with the part that said, 'It's Apollo, stupid, *Apollo* !'

Apollo lifted his hips and parted his buttocks for better access, then plunged in with a moan. He had wanted to do this for so long! He received so much pleasure from having Starbuck inside him that he wanted to share it with his friend.

Said friend moaned, too. His argument with himself still unresolved, he shut down the conscious part of his brain and just responded to Apollo's touch, no shield, no pretenses. He gave himself over completely to Apollo's control, enjoying the moment, but postponing the time when he would have to face what was going on.

Starbuck came for a second time that night when Apollo filled him with his hot juices. The sensations were so strong, knowing it was Apollo inside him! He collapsed on the bed as Apollo withdrew from his body.

The conscious part of his brain kicked back in with a vengeance. That was Apollo! Apollo had done this to him. Of all people!

When Apollo tried to put his arm around his lover, Starbuck shrugged him off, not letting himself remember just how much he *had* enjoyed it. Instead he struck out, wanting to hurt his lover for disregarding his feelings. "You've had your whore, Apollo, now just leave me alone."

Confused, Apollo drew back, unaware of his love's internal battle. "What?" he asked uncertainly.

"If you won't leave, I will," Starbuck said, rising from the bed and heading for the turboflush. His emotions were threatening to get the better of him. They'd been over so much ground in the past few centares: love, anger, friendship, hurt, desire, humiliation, that he needed time to process it all.

He started a hot turbowash for himself, feeling like he needed to scrub the emotions away. As he washed, he felt another wave of emotion, this time self-pity. The tears that he hadn't let fall for fifteen yahrens forced their way out while he was so confused. He sobbed quietly and just stood under the cascade.

"Go away, Apollo. Even a whore is entitled to some privacy," he choked out as he heard someone enter. He turned away, trying to hide the tears.

Apollo stared at the sight of his love crying, trying to understand, then he closed the door, more bewildered than ever. He sat back down on the bed and looked over at the door to the turboflush like a lost puppy, head tilted in confusion.

Starbuck came out of the turbowash, his emotions back under control, for the moment at least. He yanked some clothes from the closet, dressed, and fled the room.

Apollo had never seen Starbuck cry before, in all the yahrens they had known each other. Oh, Starbuck had seen *him* cry: when Zac died, and Serina, and his mother, too, but Starbuck had never let Apollo see *his* emotions. Resentment took the place of confusion. After a few centons of his own self-pity, he rose and dressed himself, intending to return to the Galactica. About halfway to the shuttle he stopped and turned back toward Idris' bar. He'd paid for the whole night and he'd be damned if he was going to leave before the night was over!

In the meantime, Starbuck had also returned to Idris' place and was in the midst of a conversation with the regulars who remained. He had started with the bartender.

"Hey, Selwyn, got any of the buzzer left that you had last secton?"

"Yeah, Bucky, but I'm not supposed to…"

"Not while I'm on duty, I know, but look at me… Do I look like I'm on duty?" He pointed out the black clothes he wore instead of the on-duty white.

"I guess it'd be all right, then," said the barman, pouring a generous amount of the home-brewed alcohol into a large mug.

Starbuck downed it like the pro he was and pushed it back for a refill.

"I thought you couldn't stand the stuff?" the barman asked.

Starbuck wiped the liquid from his upper lip and answered, "I can't, but I don't know of anything any stronger. Do you?"

Smiling proudly, the barman refilled Starbuck's mug again. "Nope, sure don't. My buzzer's so strong, it's prob'ly illegal."

"And judging from the taste, it should be. Thanks," he said as his mug was refilled a third time. He rose unsteadily from the bar and looked around him.

"Sire Doran, you still here?" he said, sauntering over to his oldest customer and sitting next to him.

By the time Apollo reached the bar, Starbuck had downed half a bottle of the buzzer and was sitting halfway in Doran's lap. As Apollo walked in, he heard someone laugh, saying, "That's what I like most about you, Bucky. You don't pretend to be the 'socialator with a heart of gold!'"

"That's 'cause I don't have a heart. I gave it to somebody and he threw it away." Despite the quantity of alcohol he had consumed, he still sounded completely lucid and clear.

"Hey, you gonna perform for us tonight, Bucky?" another voice called out.

"Sure, why not? Just let me pick the right music." He picked out one song, but when he saw Apollo enter, looking furious, he put it back and chose another.

The music began and Starbuck took the little stage that sat at one end of the room. The music started softly. Starbuck's voice was stronger than Apollo had anticipated, pleasant to listen to.

"So, you know how people are
When it's all gone much too far
The way their minds are made"

His tone started out almost conversational, just talking to the men in the bar, all but Apollo.

"Still, there's something you should know
That I could not let show
That fear of letting go

And in this moment, I need to be needed
With this darkness all around me, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and fear, I want to be wanted
'Cos I love to be loved
I love to be loved
I love to be loved
Yes I love to be loved"

With each repetition of the line, "I love to be loved," Starbuck spoke to a different man, beginning with Doran. He still carefully avoided the man who had bought him for the night.

"I cry the way that babies cry
The way they can't deny
The way they feel"

The performance continued, with Starbuck addressing everyone but Apollo. He even sang to the barman, Selwyn.

Then he returned to the stage briefly, his back to the audience, but Apollo knew that he was finally being addressed.

"This old familiar craving
I've been here before
This way of behaving
Don't know who the hell I'm saving anymore
Let it pass let it go let it leave
From the deepest place I grieve
This time I believe"

Starbuck turned to face his former lover, singing directly to him this time.

"And I let go
And I let go
I can let go of it
Though it takes all the strength in me
And all the world can see
I'm losing such a central part of me
I can let go of it
You know I mean it
You know that I mean it
I recognize how much I've lost
But I cannot face the cost
'Cos I love to be loved
Yes I love to be loved
I love to be loved
Yes I love to be loved
I love to be loved
I love to be loved
I love to be loved

Yes I love to be loved"

Starbuck sounded almost as though he were crying as the last syllable stretched out.

The song finished to mixed applause. It certainly wasn't what they had expected when they had asked him to "perform" for them.

"That was a very special song for a very *special* person, my pal, Captain Apollo, sir."

He stalked over to the bar where his mug sat waiting, refilled once again. Downing it in a gulp, he announced to the crowd at large, "Hey, we've got something to celebrate here. This is a momentous occasion. This," he indicated Apollo, "is the man who made the whore come. Twice!"

"To Captain Apollo, sir!" he said, raising his freshly refilled mug in the air and swallowing that in a gulp as well. "Hey boys, drinks are on him this round. The Captain's already wasted an entire secton's pay on me tonight; let's help him waste another one!"

The barman looked over to Apollo before pouring the drinks. Apollo nodded.

Starbuck returned to where he had been sitting before his song - half in Sire Doran's lap, half in his own chair. He rested his head against the other man's chest, suddenly tired. Sire Doran played with his hair, brushing it gently from his eyes where it had fallen, as usual. Starbuck smiled up at the man, knowing Apollo was watching, and decided to give Apollo a *real* show. He reached up and kissed the older man on the lips, a long, slow kiss.

"That was for free. Anything else, you gotta pay for."

"You're already getting too expensive for me, Bucky. Don't I get a break for being your oldest customer?"

"Oh, you're not old, Sire Doran," he teased, deliberately misunderstanding the man. "I've never thought of you as old, friend."

The man laughed, pleased at the simple flattery.

Another man called over to him. "As long as you're giving away kisses, let me have one!"

He shook his head. "Nope, sorry, that was just for Sire Doran, my long-time customer. Yep, we've known each other now for how long? Fifteen yahrens, isn't it?"

"Has it been that long?"

"Yep, I was about fourteen the first time we *met* ." He stared over at Apollo defiantly, making sure his former friend was taking in the whole show.

Cade walked in and sat down next to Starbuck and Doran. Glancing over at Apollo, Starbuck decided it was time the two met. He knew what Cade's reaction would be to meeting Apollo. He had actually become quite close to his former rapist, since Idris had bought him. Some of the regular customers in the bar called Cade "Bucky's shadow", since he seemed to look out for the blond socialator more than he did the others. Cade knew all about the reason Starbuck had returned to his former hated profession and resented it.

"I think I'll call it a night, fellas. Oh, by the way, Apollo, this is Cade. Cade, meet Apollo." He was ready for Cade's response, but totally unprepared for Apollo's reaction.

"Cade?" Apollo was on his feet in an instant, murder in his eyes.

Cade followed suit, ready to mangle the man who had hurt Starbuck so badly.

It was an unfair fight from the start. Although Apollo was a trained warrior, Cade outweighed him by a good amount of muscle. He was also essentially a bouncer, first for his former master, now for Idris, so he was a skilled fighter.

Most of the men in the bar ran for the exit. There were seldom fights in Idris' bar so they were unused to the event.

Apollo landed a good blow on Cade's chin, but it barely fazed the man. Cade retaliated with a punch of his own which had more effect. The captain found himself being lifted from his feet and tossed across a table.

Starbuck watched for a moment, then couldn't stand it. He still loved Apollo, despite the events of the night. It hurt him to watch his love being thrown around.

"Okay Cade, that's enough."

When the slave ignored him, he yelled across the room, "That's enough, Cade. Leave him alone!"

When that failed to produce the desired effect, Starbuck rose unsteadily on his feet, the alcohol in his system kicking in. He tried to break up the fight himself. Cade had picked Apollo up again and started holding him over his head like a professional wrestler. He heard Starbuck come up behind him, and turned rapidly. One of Apollo's struggling feet clipped Starbuck in the head, sending the blond reeling against the wall. His head hit the wall with a loud clang and Starbuck slid down the wall, unconscious.

When Cade saw Starbuck fall, he dropped Apollo and rushed to the other man's side. "Bucky, what happened? I'm sorry, Bucky."

Sire Doran rushed to Apollo, who was getting up slowly, blood gushing from his nose. "Captain, you've got to get out of here before security comes," Doran said, helping Apollo to his feet. He produced a handkerchief from a pocket and held it to Apollo's nose, squeezing tightly.

"Starbuck? What happened?"

"There's no time for that right now. He'll be fine, but you have to go. Security's on its way. The barman hit the button when you two started fighting. We can't have the Commander's son involved in a bar fight, so go!" He practically pushed Apollo out the door.

"Starbuck?" Apollo was dizzy. Pushed along by Sire Doran, he stumbled toward the shuttle area.

"He'll be fine. He's tough. He's had to be, poor thing. But you've got to leave, Captain. I know who you are and I can't let you get involved in this kind of scandal. What would your father say?"

"Father?" Apollo was still groggy from the fight. "What about Starbuck?"

"I'll make sure he's looked after, don't worry. Just you get on this shuttle and get back to the Galactica." For an older man, he still had plenty of muscle, especially when combined with the adrenaline from the fight. He fell back against the wall as he watched the shuttle take off with the Captain on it.

Back in the bar, Starbuck was starting to come around. "'Pollo?" he mumbled vaguely, looking from side to side.

"The coward ran when I dropped him," Cade told him, unaware of Sire Doran's involvement. "Shh, let me take a look at you."

Security came in the door cautiously, looking for the cause of the fracas. "What happened here?"

"There was a fight, but it's over now," the barman said accusingly. "What took you so long?"

The other men having run when the fight began, Cade stepped over to them with his version of the story. "One of the drunks, I mean, one of the patrons threatened me and I responded. He ran away after Bucky here was hurt."

Starbuck interrupted. "It was nothing, officer, just a little misunderstanding."

"Were you a witness?" the security officer asked Starbuck.

"Yes and no. I'm afraid I was the cause of the fight, if you get my drift," he winked suggestively at the officer. His head ached, but he had no intention of getting Apollo into trouble.

Cade glared at him.

"Do you know the name of the other man?" the security man asked.

"Uh, no, I don't," Starbuck said quickly, before Cade could answer. "And neither do you," he informed Cade.

"It's like he says," Cade growled. "I don't know anything. I was just trying to do what my master ordered me to, to protect his employees."

"Sorry you came all this way for nothing, officer," Starbuck said with a fake smile. He pushed the man toward the door. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go lie down."

"Were you hurt in the fight?" The security man was stubborn in his refusal to leave.

"No, no, just had too much to drink tonight, that's all."

"I thought he said you were hurt?" the guard said, pointing to Cade. "I have to make an official report if there are any injuries."

"No, no, he just thought I was hurt. He's a little over-protective, if you know what I mean. I'll be fine if I can just get some sleep." He pushed the man through the door. "Thank you, officer."

He sank down into a seat by the door.

"What the hell did you mean by doing that?" Cade demanded. "You should let that little…"

"Cut it out, Cade. Just get me some ice. And another drink." He was confused by Apollo's reaction to Cade. He knew why Cade hated Apollo, but he couldn't figure out why Apollo apparently returned the feeling.

"That little daggit is the reason you're back here, instead of in a viper, where you belong," Cade muttered angrily, handing Starbuck a bag of ice for his head.

"I'm back here because *this* is where I belong, Cade. Remember? You told me a long time ago that I was just another scrawny orphan and that's all I could ever hope to be."

"I'm sorry for all the things I did when we were kids, Bucky. I was wrong. I know I hurt you and…"

"Shh! Water under the bridge, Cade. And where's my drink?"

"I think you've had enough, Bucky."

"Nonsense. I can still sit upright and talk. I'll admit I've had enough when I pass out and not one drink before."

"Come on, I'll get you to your rooms." Cade hauled him up out of his seat.

"Bring the bottle then," Starbuck called out behind him.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Cade finally left him alone in his rooms, once he had tucked him into bed with a bag of ice on his head. The barman had managed to sneak a bottle to him, so he sat in bed getting thoroughly drunk, using the ice Cade had left for his drink.

The more he drank, the more confused he got. His emotions had been pulled and stretched in so many different directions in one night that he just wanted to curl up and cry again. He did just that, at one point. He finally achieved his goal of passing out sometime near morning.

He awoke to a pounding headache just behind the eyes and a profound nausea that wasn't helped by the taste in his mouth. As he tried to get out of bed to head for the turboflush, a gentle hand pushed him back while another hand held a basin in front of him. He relieved his stomach into the basin a few times, then lay back in bed, feeling sorry for himself.

The pair of hands eventually resolved themselves into a whole person. "Cade?"

"So you return to the world again, Bucky? Just rest. You had a bad night last night. I spoke with the master about that man. He won't bother you again."

"No, I don't think so," he said sadly. "Ooh, my head! Hand me that bottle over there, will you, Cade?"

Picking up the bottle, Cade frowned. "What's this?" He sniffed at the bottle. "If you've been drinking Selwyn's buzzer it's no wonder you have a hangover. That stuff's not fit to drink."

"Just give me the bottle, will you? You know what they say about the hair of the daggit that bit you."

Reluctantly Cade handed over the bottle. Starbuck took a long drink straight from the bottle, making a face as he tasted the brew.

"You'd think as much as I drank last night that my taste buds would be fried already. God, that stuff's awful!"

"Then why did you drink it? Selwyn told me you requested it specifically."

"You know of anything any stronger? I needed something strong after last night."

"I'm not surprised. You should have told me who he was before you left. I could have asked the master to give him his cubits back."

"Idris give money back? You gotta be kidding!" He took another swig.

"Hey, not too much of that now."

"I already had too much. And not enough. I'm still conscious."

"You're talking crazy, Bucky. I think maybe you ought to go visit Life Center."

"Nah, I've spent too much time there already. I just have a hangover, that's all. Uh, Cade, unless you still have that basin, I'd suggest you move," Starbuck said, launching himself toward the turboflush.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Cade did finally convince Starbuck to go to Life Center, where the doctor announced he had a minor concussion. Because of the injury, and because his face was bruised, Idris gave him more time off, unwillingly.

And so life continued for a secton… two sectons. The doctor hadn't released Starbuck from his care, despite the fact that it was a minor concussion. He was worried about the man's mental state. Starbuck seemed almost manic - energetic and hyper one moment, then depressed the next. He was still trying to avoid thinking about Apollo, and had been keeping himself drunk most of the time.

One morning when he came to, as Cade was waiting with the basin, as he had been every morning since Apollo's visit, he announced, "Bucky, this has got to stop."

"Why?"

"You can't keep this up much longer. I'm supposed to be looking after you for my master. He's beginning to get angry with me."

"Idris? When the day comes that I can't kick his..."

"Bucky, please. You're going to hurt yourself this way. You're going to *kill* yourself this way."

"When?" was all he asked, taking a drink from the bottle beside the bed.

Cade jerked the bottle away from him. "What the hell is the matter with you?" He made a face at the younger man. "You stink! Let's get you to the turbowash."

Cade's lectures didn't do any good; Idris' threats didn't do any good; even Robardel's pleas didn't do any good - Starbuck continued to drink himself into oblivion every night.

The routine was always the same - he'd wake up in the morning, throw up in the basin while Cade held it for him, then hold out his hand for the bottle that was always there. He drank steadily through the day, eating little real food. At night, he'd sit by himself, drinking the buzzer provided by the barman, Selwyn.

Cade and Robardel finally came up with one possible solution: Apollo. He was the cause of Starbuck's problem, he would be the answer.

As Robardel was still in the hoverchair, they decided that it would be easier for Cade to go fetch the captain. After getting Idris' permission, he took a shuttle over to the Galactica for just that purpose. It didn't take him long to find Apollo; he was in the duty office by himself.

"Captain Apollo, I need to talk with you."

"You!" Apollo lunged at the man.

Cade dropped easily into a fighting stance and held off Apollo. "Didn't you learn the first time, Captain? I'm here to talk about Bucky."

"Starbuck? What about him?"

"He needs your help."

"Did he send you?"

"No, I came because I'm concerned about him. You caused his problem, you can help solve it."

"*I* caused his problem? As I see it, you're the problem."

"Me? Ha! I'm nothing but a slave. You... you tore him apart. He's been drunk ever since that night you... paid for him." The scorn was thick in Cade's voice.

"It probably helps him stand being around his rapist."

"If it doesn't bother Bucky, it shouldn't bother you. I've apologized to him and done everything I could to make it up to him. But you... He won't listen to us, Robardel, Idris & me. Robardel figures he'll listen to you. I don't see why, though."

"What makes you think he'd listen to me? He never did when I was his captain."

"He loves you, for some reason. I don't understand it, myself, but the little one thinks you're his only chance. He's going to kill himself at the rate he's going now. He's not eating, just keeps going to that bottle of buzzer."

"Buzzer? Now I know you're lying. He can't stand that stuff!"

"I know, but that's part of it. He's trying to use something he hates to hurt himself worse than the one he loves did."

"If he loved me, he wouldn't have left me." Apollo backed off from the man. He landed back in his chair.

Seeing an opening, Cade grabbed it. After a long argument, he convinced Apollo to go see Starbuck on the Rising Star.

Early the next morning, he took the first shuttle over to the other ship. He met Cade in the shuttle waiting area and followed him to Starbuck's rooms.

The routine started as usual, with Starbuck getting rid of the previous night's libations. Cade had warned him, so Apollo was prepared and managed to keep from joining him. When Starbuck reached out his hand for the bottle, nothing happened.

"Cade? Quit being funny. Where's the buzzer?'

"I thought you hated that stuff."

"Apollo? What are *you* doing here?"

"Cade brought me over to stop you making an equine's astrum of yourself."

"Leave me alone, Apollo. I'm nothing but a whore, remember?"

"Now the first thing you're going to do is take a turbowash; you stink!"

"No, first thing I'm gonna to do is get a drink before I puke again."

Ignoring him, Apollo continued. "Then we're going down to Idris' bar for some breakfast. Cade's going to make sure there's something edible."

"I can't eat anything right now, Apollo. I'll throw up again if I try."

"You're going to eat. You look awful, you know."

And he did. His face was puffy from the alcohol diet, his eyes bloodshot; he had a generally unhealthy look about him.

"Come on, get out of bed. You weren't this bad at the Academy!"

"Apollo, why are you doing this?" Starbuck looked up at him, haunted.

"I don't really know. But I am doing it, so out of bed you go." As he spoke, Apollo shoved his friend off the side of the bed, eliciting a loud groan from the still-drunk man.

He managed to get Starbuck out of bed and into the turbowash. After a good deal of complaining, they made it down to Idris' bar where Cade was waiting for them with kaffe and fruit juice. As soon as they sat down, the slave went into the kitchen to get the morning meal started.

When Cade brought the food out to them, Starbuck eyed the platter with a jaundiced eye. "Apollo, I don't think I can…"

"Eat or I'll feed you," Apollo said quietly, laying a napkin in his lap and preparing to eat his own meal.

"Why are you doing this?" Starbuck asked again.

"Because Cade told me that he needed some help knocking sense into your head. It was either me or Boomer and I didn't want to bother Boomer."

"Don't you have patrol or something?"

"No, I rescheduled my time so I could have a furlon. Stop trying to change the subject. Eat."

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Apollo ended up spending almost three sectons with Starbuck. At first, Starbuck did his best to convince himself that his relationship with Apollo was through, but he failed miserably. He loved him as much as ever. Apollo did likewise, with similar results. They had been together for too long to change the way things were now. Once they were back together, it was back to the old routine; they'd bicker and argue like a married couple, but let anyone else try to interfere, and they united to form an unbeatable team, as more than one found out in that time.

Starbuck invited Apollo back to his bed almost shyly. It had happened one night after Apollo had been there for about a secton and a half. Once there, it was like nothing had happened between them.

In the morning, words had had to replace actions, much to their mutual chagrin.

"So you're going to tell Idris that you quit?" Apollo asked.

"I don't know, Apollo." When his lover's expression turned to anger, he explained, "I mean, I resigned from the fleet. I have nowhere to go."

"You'll come back to the Galactica with me. I'll talk to Father, he'll reinstate your rank and..."

"No, that's not fair to the commander. It puts him in an awkward spot."

"He'll do it; you're the best pilot in the fleet."

"Maybe. Once. But it's been how long now since I've flown? Half a yahren now. It'll take some time for me to get back into the cockpit again. But, I confess, I can't wait."

"So you'll come back with me?"

"Yeah, I'll come back... with you," he said meaningfully. He smiled as Apollo leaned in for a kiss.

The kiss was broken by a bleep from the communicator.

"Starbuck?" Boomer's voice interrupted.

"Yeah, Boom-boom?"

"I'm afraid I have bad news for you. It seems that Sire Brenyn never made it to the prison barge."

"What?" Apollo demanded.

"He apparently escaped sectons ago. He's still unaccounted for."

"That means he's still on board the Rising Star."

"He also apparently made threats against you, before his escape."

"Then why hasn't he done anything yet?" Starbuck asked. "And why didn't security say anything about it?"

"He hasn't been able to get close to you. Either Cade or I one have been with you the whole time," Apollo answered.

"So what do we do now?"

"Let him come for me."

"Starbuck..." Apollo protested.

"Wait a centon," Boomer said. "He's right."

"Yeah, the only way to catch him is to let him think he's caught me. Apollo, you'll have to go back to the Galactica without me, but leave someone to keep a watch... no, better - just leave Cade to watch over me. If my shadow can't protect me, who can?"

"I don't like this," Apollo muttered.

"I'm not too fond of using myself as bait, either, but I don't see that I have a choice. Look, he's going to come after me sooner or later. Might as well let it be sooner so I can get back to my life." He smiled fondly at Apollo.

"I'll go along with this. But I still don't like it. You got that, Boomer? I want Starbuck to have a direct line to ship security.

"Understood, Captain. I take it by your last statement, you're coming back, Starbuck?"

"You got it, buddy. You're gonna be stuck with me again."

"Hallelujah. No more 'high regulation horse?'"

Starbuck laughed as Apollo spluttered.

"Boomer out."

"I don't like this," Apollo repeated again.

"Relax, I'll have Cade behind me, and a direct comm line to security. What could go wrong?"

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Starbuck, of course, chafed at having someone with him at all times. Especially Cade. Cade had turned into a mother hen-type where Starbuck was concerned. After a secton, Starbuck finally gave Cade the slip and wandered off on his own. He was just looking in at one of the bazaars that had sprung up on the former luxury liner when he heard a familiar, hated voice.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the whore who deserted the fleet," Brenyn sneered.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the escaped convict. Uh, security..."

"I wouldn't call them, if I were you, whore. You see, I have your precious lover."

"Apollo?" Starbuck was instantly alert.

"Yes, that's right. I think you'll come with me now."

"Take me to Apollo."

"Of course, whore. I'll take you to your lover."

Starbuck followed the man through the crowd. They went to the shuttle waiting area.

"Where are you taking me?" Starbuck demanded.

"To meet with your so dear friend, of course. You don't think I'd be foolish enough to leave him here on this ship, do you? I know you have a direct link to ship security."

"How do you know?"

"I do still have connections, whore. Just come with me."

They boarded a shuttle taking off for one of the refuse barges. Few people lived on them, but each did have a small crew to process the waste.

Brenyn took him to a small chamber in the barge.

"Thanks to you, whore, this is where I have lived for the past few sectares."

"Where's Apollo?"

"Safely on board the Galactica, I presume." He produced a laser pistol from behind him. "Don't even think about calling for security, whore. I know that signal is attuned to the guards on board the Rising Star, but they can trace the signal." He walked up behind Starbuck and put his hand on the young man's neck. Starbuck felt a prick on his neck and then the world started to spin.

"What ...?" he asked, trying to grab for something to steady himself.

"Just a little neuro-paralyzer. It will temporarily paralyze your voluntary muscle functions. Don't worry; your involuntary muscles will still do their job. You just won't be able to struggle."

Starbuck fell heavily to the floor, unable to break his fall at all. He lay helpless as Brenyn stripped his clothes off.

"This is not quite the revenge I had pictured, but it is sweet, whore. I can use you to lure Captain Apollo here, then make sure you watch as he dies, slowly and painfully. But, first things first. You are a whore, after all. Let's see how good you are."

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Apollo was livid when he got the call from Cade. "What do you mean - he got away from you?"

"I'm sorry. I was right behind him, but he gave me the slip in the crowd."

"Idiot! What was he thinking with Brenyn on the loose? I should have known better than to go along with this idea. Where did you see him last?"

Apollo took the next shuttle over to the Rising Star. He met briefly with Cade and Robardel, then they split up to look for Starbuck.

They met again a centar later.

"Any sign of him?" Apollo asked.

"None," said Cade shamefacedly.

"There was a man fitting his description on a shuttle a few centares ago," Robardel ventured.

"Where was it going?"

"Just to the refuse barge."

"Refuse barge? You don't imagine that's where Brenyn has been hiding, do you?"

"Could be. They have a small crew. It would be the perfect place to hide out. Which refuse barge? Did they say?"

"Captain Apollo to a communications unit. Captain Apollo to a communications unit." The paging system announced atonally.

"Apollo here."

"Well, it's certainly nice to see you again, Captain," Brenyn smirked.

"Where is he?"

"Oh, you mean your little catamite? He's in good hands, rest assured. He's right here."

"What do you want, Brenyn?"

"You'll have to come and get him, Captain. You have one centar to come to the coordinates I'm sending you now. And, captain, do come alone and unarmed. If I see anyone else, or if you have a laser, I will kill the whore first, then you. One centar, Captain."

The screen went blank.

"Well, we know where he is. Give me time to get over there, then send security over in, say, thirty centons?"

"You can't be serious!" Robardel said. "The man is evil. He'll kill both you and Bucky if you go."

"And if I don't go, Starbuck has no chance at all, does he? Do as I say. In thirty centons. Here's my laser."

"At least take this small one," Robardel urged. "It's one Geila bought for me. It's small enough you can hide it."

"Thank you, that's a good idea." He took the pistol and tucked it behind his back. "Thirty centons," he repeated.

"I'm going with you," Cade announced.

"You heard what he said. If I'm not alone, Starbuck dies."

"He won't have to know I'm there. If I know Brenyn, you're going to need some help getting Bucky out of there. I'll stay where he can't see me. After so long as a slave, I've become quite good at fading into the background. I'm coming anyway, to protect my master's employee. It was his order."

"Just stay out of the way, then. You understand?"

Cade nodded and followed Apollo aboard the shuttle. Neither man spoke during the short flight, each too preoccupied with his own worries.

They alit from the shuttle after it landed and went to the room specified by Brenyn.

"Now, you stay out here, Cade," Apollo ordered. "I'll call you when it's safe for you to come in."

Cade just nodded his assent.

Apollo entered the room carefully. The first thing he saw was Starbuck on the floor. He was naked, on his stomach, with his legs spread out at an obscene angle, leaving little room for doubt about what Brenyn had done to him.

"Starbuck?" he whispered, moving closer to his friend. He knelt beside him and looked at him. He was breathing, but not moving otherwise. Apollo shook his shoulder. "Starbuck, it's me, Apollo. You all right?" Tears began to form in Starbuck's eyes as he heard his friend, but he couldn't move. The neuro-paralyzer was still at work on his system. He knew Brenyn planned on killing Apollo and there was nothing he could do but watch. He couldn't even shut his eyes; that, too, was a voluntary function.

"He's quite all right, Captain," Brenyn said, emerging from behind a stack of boxes. "I merely gave him a little something to relax him a bit."

"I'm here, Brenyn. Now what do you want?"

Brenyn shook his head. "I should have thought it obvious by now, Captain," he said, pulling out a laser pistol. "I want your lover to watch as I kill you."

Apollo drew the small laser Robardel had pressed on him and aimed it at Brenyn. "You'll have to do better than that, Brenyn."

Brenyn changed his aim from Apollo to the still figure on the floor. "Perhaps I should kill him, and let you watch."

"You kill him, I kill you."

"Either way, your lover will be dead. Your choice, Captain."

"I choose to kill you... and take him back to the Galactica with me." Apollo tightened his finger on the trigger. "Cade, no!" he shouted as Cade burst into the room, drawing Brenyn's fire. Unfortunately, he began firing before he had finished moving and caught Apollo in the side as he started to shoot. Apollo fired his own weapon as he dove to the other side. His shot hit Brenyn directly and killed him instantly.

Apollo moved over to Cade as the firing stopped. He shook his head as he realized that the other man was dead, caught straight in the chest by Brenyn's shot. Apollo fell to the floor, his left side in agony from the laser blast.

"Starbuck," he murmured. "You're safe." He reached for the signaling device on Starbuck's wrist and signaled for security to come pick them up. It would take a few centons, since they were no longer on the Rising Star, but he had no doubt that security would find them. He took Starbuck's hand as he felt consciousness slip away.

After Apollo had fainted, the drug paralyzing Starbuck began to wear off. When he was able to move his head, he looked and saw Apollo on the floor beside him. Not having been able to see everything as it happened, he believed Apollo was dead.

During the past few sectons with Apollo, Starbuck had finally started to recover from some of the trauma he had experienced, but he was still very fragile psychologically. The combination of the second rape by Brenyn, and believing Apollo dead was too much for him to handle on top of the other traumas he had experienced. He curled up into a fetal position and sobbed.

When security finally reached them, they opened the door to find Brenyn and Cade dead, Apollo unconscious and Starbuck still curled in a tight ball. They called for a med team then disposed of the bodies.

Starbuck didn't respond when security tried to question him. Nor did he respond to the med team's examination. They shrugged, loaded him on to a stretcher and carried both him and Apollo to the Galactica's Life Center.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Dr. Salik shook his head after he had finished treating Apollo. If that security team had been any later, the man would have died from that wound.

He turned to Starbuck. The med techs who had examined him had found the signs of the rape, but no other physical injuries. Dr. Salik had no idea what Starbuck had been through, but he did find out from Boomer that Starbuck had been aboard the Rising Star, so he contacted the doctors on the other ship.

Starbuck had still been curled in a fetal position when they'd brought him in. The med techs had been forced to give him a muscle relaxant in order to straighten out his limbs. Now, almost a day later, he still lay flat on his back, completely unresponsive to the rest of the world.

It was almost a secton before Apollo was lucid enough to ask about Starbuck. The captain was finally aware of his own surroundings and anxious about his friend. Truth be told, he was also a bit hurt that Starbuck wasn't there with him. After all, he'd sat with Starbuck whenever *he* was injured... and Starbuck had sat with Robardel while he had been in danger. Where was Starbuck now?

Cassiopeia was the one he asked. She turned away and started crying softly.

"What is it? What's the matter? When I saw him, Brenyn said he had just given him something to relax him, but that he was unharmed. What's wrong?"

Unable to stop crying, Cassiopeia signaled for Dr. Salik. The doctor ordered her from the room.

"Doctor, what is it? Where is Starbuck?"

"Captain, I hadn't planned on telling you this just yet..."

"Telling me what? Is he dead?"

"Shh, calm down. He's not dead. He's in the next room. Captain, Starbuck is catatonic. He doesn't respond to any kind of stimulus, hasn't since he was brought in. He's sustained a severe emotional trauma that has apparently caused him to shut down mentally."

"Catatonic? Shut down?" Apollo fell back onto his pillow. "It's only temporary?"

"We can't be sure of anything. None of us knows just how much he went through at Brenyn's hands. We do know he was raped again, but we have no idea what else happened. He'll be most likely to recover around familiar sights, sounds and people, so we've arranged for him to stay here for the time being. Any of his friends willing to visit him are encouraged to do so..."

"Take me to him," Apollo commanded.

"You're not strong enough yet, Captain."

"Take me to him or I'll walk there myself."

"Very well. I do believe some of the Lieutenant's stubborn streak has rubbed off on you, Captain."

"Help me up." Apollo made it to his friend's room, then sat down heavily in a chair by his bed, panting. Starbuck's head was turned away from him, so he took the beloved face in his hands and brought it around so he could see. His heart almost broke when he saw the vacant, staring eyes. "I'm here, Bucko, and I'm not leaving. Come back to me. I need you."

Dr. Salik saw it coming. He had two med techs standing by to catch Apollo as he fell from the chair and carry him back to his own room.

"No, no, I can't leave him," he protested weakly.

"You need to recuperate yourself. He's going to need all the help he can get if he's going to recover," the doctor soothed.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////

While Apollo was in Life Center, he and Cassiopeia talked quite a bit. Both were worried about what would happen to Starbuck. Dr. Salik had reluctantly mentioned sending him over to the Senior Ship for care, to free up his bed for any warrior casualties that came in. Both Apollo and Cassiopeia argued vehemently against it. Apollo even suggested that he could take him in, but the captain had no one to look after Starbuck while he was on duty.

Cassiopeia knew of one solution, but it involved secrets that were not hers to share. She visited the Senior Ship herself to speak to one person who could help.

When she returned to the Galactica, she sought out Apollo to tell him her news. "Chameleon could look after Starbuck while you're on duty, Apollo."

"Chameleon? I know they're friends but why...?"

"There's something I need to tell you, Apollo. I didn't say anything before because I told Chameleon that I wouldn't tell anybody, but... I lied about the test results. They were positive; Chameleon is Starbuck's father." Before the captain could voice his displeasure, she continued, "He made me promise. Starbuck was going to resign if he found out Chameleon was his father. He did it for Starbuck. Now he wants a chance to help his son. If you don't take him in, Chameleon will."

"I'll do it... for Starbuck. But I want a word with that old con man."

"Have one, Captain," came a voice from the doorway.

"Chameleon?"

"I had a feeling you'd say yes. You seem like a good friend to my son."

"You know how he's going to feel when he finds out, don't you? He's going to think I betrayed him."

"Nonsense! I'll explain things to him. There's nothing to worry about. Where is he, Cassiopeia? Can I see him?"

She guided the old man to Starbuck's room, then returned to Apollo.

"What are his chances really, Cassie? What will it take to get him out of this?"

She shook her head. "I don't know, Apollo. He could come out of it tomorrow, or it may take yahrens. Nobody knows. The best thing is to keep him around familiar surroundings. He'll be most likely to recover around those. That's all I know."

He nodded. "Then I'll keep him here on the Galactica with me. Let Dr. Salik know I'll be taking him home with me when I'm released."

"I will. My prayers will go with both of you, Apollo."

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

So it was that Starbuck came home with Apollo. Chameleon stayed with him while Apollo was on duty, or, if Apollo were called out unexpectedly, Cassiopeia would look after him.

Starbuck continued the way he was. He could walk, if led; eat, if someone fed him, but he initiated no actions on his own.

Every day Apollo woke up to that blank face lying beside him. When they first went home, Apollo would turn eagerly to see if the light had returned to the eyes he loved so much, but gradually, he came to expect the sightless orbs that stared at him blankly.

One morning, after Starbuck had been with him a sectar, Apollo was finishing getting dressed while Boxey watched Starbuck. It had become a sort of game for the youngster, watching for signs of improvement. Oddly enough, the boy took it as a challenge and stuck tenaciously to his task, never tiring of it.

While Boxey was watching him, holding his hand, he always talked to Starbuck, trying to convince his favorite "uncle" to talk back. Finally he did. Just one word, but it was enough for the boy.

Softly, so quiet Boxey almost couldn't be sure he heard it, Starbuck opened his mouth. "Boxey." The word had no inflection, but it was a word.

"Starbuck? Starbuck, did you call me? Dad! He said my name! Starbuck said my name!"

Apollo ran back into the room. "Starbuck?" He looked at the staring eyes he loved so much, but there was no change. "Boxey, are you sure you heard him? I mean, I know you want it so much, maybe you just thought you heard...?"

"No! I know I heard him, Dad. He said my name."

"Did his face change any when he spoke?"

"No, he looked just the same as always. But he knew me, Dad. He did."

"Well, I think this calls for a trip to see Dr. Salik, to see if he can find any changes. Then, tonight, how about a celebration meal on the Rising Star?"

"Yay! Can Chameleon come, too?" Starbuck's father had become one of Boxey's favorite people.

"If he wants to, of course he can. He's as much a part of Starbuck's family as we are. I'm sure he'll want to celebrate with us. Why don't you ask him when he gets here?"

"Okay."

"In the meantime, let's take Starbuck down to Life Center to visit Dr. Salik. You can tell him what you told me, okay?"

Apollo shook his head. He didn't doubt for a moment that his son thought he had heard Starbuck speak, but believed the boy had imagined it. He teared up as he watched Starbuck's silent, staring form. "Come back to me, Starbuck," he whispered as he kissed his love on the cheek.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Dr. Salik nodded thoughtfully when Boxey told his story. Privately he thought it most likely that the boy had imagined the whole thing, but he was reluctant to squash the boy's enthusiasm. The caregivers needed hope to keep going. One look at Apollo's face told him that he, too, believed it was the little boy's wishful thinking at work. The two men nodded at one another, understanding.

"So Starbuck will be back to normal soon, then?" Boxey asked.

"It may still take some time, Boxey," Dr. Salik answered carefully. "But this is a good sign. You keep watching for anything else that happens, all right?"

"Yes, sir!"

As they left Life Center, Boxey demanded, "So we're going over to the Rising Star tonight for evening meal?"

"Absolutely, Boxey. As soon as I get off duty. Until then, look after Starbuck for me, okay?"

"I will, Dad."

Chameleon was standing outside their quarters when they returned. "I was beginning to worry. There's nothing wrong, is there?"

"Starbuck spoke to me, Chameleon! He said my name!" Boxey chimed in.

"Really?" the old man asked, equally excited. He looked up at Apollo.

"That's right. Dr. Salik says it's a good sign so we're going to have a celebration meal on the Rising Star tonight after I get off duty."

"And you're invited, Chameleon," Boxey enthused.

Chameleon looked at Apollo again.

"Of course you're invited, Chameleon. You're family, too."

The older man had the grace to blush. "But he doesn't know it."

"He will. Someday," Apollo said confidently. "Go on inside, Boxey. May I speak with you a centon, Chameleon?"

"Certainly. What is it, Apollo?"

"Look, I don't know how to say it, but..."

"But you don't believe Boxey, is that it?"

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up too much. Nobody but Boxey heard Starbuck say anything. Dr. Salik feels the same way I do."

"I believe him. The child wouldn't lie to you about something like that."

"I believe he *thinks* he heard Starbuck say his name. Boxey's not a liar. But it may have been wishful thinking on his part."

"I don't think so, Apollo. I think my son will respond to all of us soon."

"I hope so. It's so hard to see him like this. I've known him for so long now. It's hard to live without him."

"How long have you known him? Since the Academy?" At Apollo's nod, he continued. "You've been around him more than I have, you know him better. How do you think he'll take the news that I'm really his father?"

"I think it'll mean more to him than anything. He's always wanted a family."

"I was under the impression that he *had* a family... here on the Galactica."

"Oh, yes, he's like a son to my father. And Boxey thinks of him as 'Uncle Starbuck'."

"And you?"

"Me? He's been like a brother to me since we met."

"Just a brother? I do have eyes, Captain."

Apollo blushed.

"I know you share a bed with him," Chameleon continued. "I'm not saying, and I don't believe, that you're taking advantage of him. Judging from the times I've seen the two of you together, I'd say he's in love with you, too."

"Yes, we were... *are* lovers. He asked me to seal with him. I think I'll accept when he ... comes back."

"That will be wonderful, Apollo. Then I'll have two sons instead of one. And a grandson."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Chameleon, because I'd like for you to be an active part of our lives. I'd like for you to join our family."

"I'd be honored, Apollo. But, first things first. Has he eaten today?"

"No, after Boxey thought he heard Starbuck speak, we went straight to Life Center so there was no time."

"I'll take care of that, then. How about Boxey, Starbuck and I spend the day on board the Rising Star? We can meet you there after your duty shift."

"Sounds all right to me." They returned to where the boy sat expectantly by Starbuck. "Boxey, how would you like to spend the day with Chameleon on the Rising Star?"

"No school?"

"No school. This is a day to celebrate."

"Hooray!"

Apollo smiled at his son's enthusiasm. "I wish I could join you playing hooky, but I can't. Have fun, both of you."

"All three of us," Boxey corrected.

//////////////////////////////////////////

Boxey, Chameleon and Starbuck took a shuttle over to the Rising Star. Chameleon made reservations for the meal. Then they spent the day seeing all the sights, ending at a Triad match. Boxey led Starbuck to a seat while Chameleon did his grandfatherly best to spoil the child rotten (and spoil his appetite) by buying him innumerable snacks.

Again, without a change in expression, Starbuck opened his mouth and said one word, "Boxey." It was a whisper, like the first time, but this time, Chameleon was near enough to hear it, too.

"Starbuck!" Boxey exclaimed joyfully.

Chameleon echoed the child, equally joyfully.

Another word from the expressionless face. "Chameleon."

"I'm here, son." The old man choked up.

"He knows you, too, Chameleon! He said your name. You heard him, too. Now Dad'll have to believe me. I know he pretends to believe, but he didn't believe me, not really."

"I believed you before, Boxey," Chameleon said, his eyes tearing up even more.

Starbuck was trying to wake up. He was aware of what was happening around him, to an extent. He wanted to apologize to the boy for getting his father killed. It was hard, though. Usually an illusion of Apollo still alive interrupted. This time, it was the presence of the man whom he'd thought was his father. This apology was too personal to share with someone who was almost a stranger. Starbuck wondered where he was really. His seemingly sightless eyes told him he was on the Rising Star, at a Triad match, but he couldn't believe them. They also told him Apollo was alive and that he'd been staying with Apollo for some time now. He was relatively unaware of the passing of days, but he was growing in awareness.

After the Triad match, the three hurried to meet Apollo at the shuttle waiting room.

The centon he spotted his father, Boxey darted up to him. "Dad! He did it again! He said my name. Chameleon heard him, too. And he said Chameleon's name, too! He did, Dad!"

Apollo knelt to pick up his son, but looked up at his love's father. Chameleon nodded. "He did? That's wonderful! So that's even more to celebrate. We need to go on to the restaurant so we can get a table."

"We already made reservations, Dad. Chameleon's prepared for everything."

"So it seems," Apollo answered with a grin. "Thank you, Chameleon. What time are our reservations?"

"In about ten centons, so we'd better go. I was getting a little worried that your shuttle would be late."

They arrived at the restaurant with a few centons to spare. The maitre d' seated them quickly, giving Starbuck a strange look that set Apollo's hackles up. Chameleon put a restraining hand on his arm which kept him from saying anything, but he was tempted to give the man a piece of his mind. He'd had a long day and didn't need people staring at Starbuck like some kind of freak.

When their food arrived, Apollo first cut up Starbuck's food into small bites and started feeding him. When Chameleon offered to help, Apollo refused politely. He considered Starbuck his personal responsibility.

"Open your mouth, Starbuck," he said gently. When his lover complied, Apollo lifted the fork to his mouth and fed him. While Starbuck chewed slowly, Apollo took a hurried bite of his own food before returning his attention to Starbuck.

At first, Dr. Salik had been leery of letting Starbuck eat solid foods, but, as long as the bites were kept small, he seemed to have no problem.

While they were eating, quite a few friends stopped by to see how the former pilot was doing. The whole time, Apollo kept feeding Starbuck.

Boomer stopped by, talking with Apollo for several centons about the day's events. Apollo became wrapped up in the conversation and stopped feeding Starbuck.

"I tell you, Boomer, I don't think I want many more days like today. If those new cadets complain about their instructors one more time, I think I'll..."

"Apollo..." Chameleon interrupted, pointing at Starbuck.

"He opened his mouth without you telling him to, Dad," Boxey enthused. "He's hungry."

Apollo felt like he'd been run over with a landram. As soon as he recovered, he stabbed another bite with the fork he was sharing with Starbuck (it was easier that way) and offered it to his love. Starbuck accepted the bite and chewed slowly.

"I can't believe it! That's the first time he's done anything like that on his own. First he says Boxey's name..."

"And Chameleon's," Boxey reminded him.

"And now he opens his mouth without my telling him to. Maybe he's starting to come out of it?" Apollo asked, as excited now as his son. "Starbuck, open your mouth when you're hungry and I'll feed you."

There was still no change in expression on the blank face. It took almost another centon, but Starbuck finally opened his mouth again for another bite. The joyous noise from their table attracted quite a bit of attention from their fellow diners, most of whom looked at them as uncouth ruffians who shouldn't be allowed out of a viper.

"He's coming to of it, Boomer," Apollo whispered. "He's finally coming out of it." Tears gathered in his eyes as he spoke.

"This is great," Boomer said as he patted his friend on the back. He was almost as emotional as Apollo, but was making a great effort to control himself, for Apollo's sake. He felt like jumping up and down. He'd been the one who'd stayed with Apollo after Starbuck left, the one who'd sat with him and held him as he cried. So few people knew why Starbuck had left that Boomer was the only person Apollo could turn to.

They'd finished their meal quickly, ready to celebrate more privately. On the shuttle back over to the Galactica, Starbuck began to yawn. It had been a long day for him, with more exercise than he was accustomed to now. Apollo watched him avidly, hoping for another sign that he was waking up. Instead, he saw the eyelids begin to droop, the head begin to nod. He shook Starbuck's shoulder.

"Hey, sleepyhead, I'm not carrying you back to our quarters. Stay awake."

//////////////////////////////////////////

Apollo had to put Starbuck to bed as soon as they reached their quarters. It had become clear that he was going to fall asleep as soon as he sat down again.

After tucking Starbuck under the covers, Apollo returned to the main room where Boomer and Chameleon sat, helping themselves to the ambrosa Boomer knew where to find.

"Have a glass," Boomer offered.

"That's generous of you, considering it's my bottle," Apollo joked, the worries of the day forgotten in his joy over Starbuck's progress.

"How long do you think it will be now?" Chameleon asked.

"I don't know. I wish Dr. Salik were on duty so I could tell him now. I'll talk to him first thing in the morning, before I go on duty."

"Don't rush; I'll cover for you if you're late," Boomer offered.

"Thanks, Boom-boom. You've been a good friend to me this whole time. And thanks to you, too, Chameleon. I couldn't have managed this without either of you."

"It's not over quite yet, Apollo," the older man reminded him. "He's still not really back."

"I know, I know. But he's made so much progress in just the last day I can't help but get my hopes up."

"To Starbuck," Boomer offered, raising his glass. The other men answered, "To Starbuck."

After the others had left, Apollo went to bed himself. He smiled as he noticed Starbuck's position. Once again he was turned on his side, one leg stretched out, the other curled in to his chest, with nothing showing but his hands and hair.

Apollo crawled under the covers himself, careful not to wake his love. He was tired himself. Until it hit him.

He hadn't seen Starbuck in that position since before Brenyn's death.

Apollo sat bolt upright in bed and looked again. He pulled back the blanket and looked at Starbuck again. The blond shivered and shifted back toward the blanket as he felt the cool air hit him.

He was responding! Apollo's breathing quickened in anticipation. It had to happen soon! Starbuck would wake up and be back to normal soon. With tears of joy in his eyes, Apollo reached down and kissed Starbuck gently on the cheek. With shock he realized that Starbuck had snuggled in to the kiss ever so slightly.

It took some time before he calmed down enough to sleep, but Apollo finally managed... about two hours before he had to get up for duty.

//////////////////////////////////////////

When the computer woke him, Apollo practically shouted at the stupid thing to shut up. Wiping his face with his hands, he remembered what had happened the night before. He looked at the sleeping figure expectantly, trying to see any change. There was none. He kissed Starbuck again, hoping for the same reaction, but nothing happened. Disappointed, he went to wake Boxey to get ready for school. He had missed class yesterday & didn't need to miss another day, no matter what had happened the night before.

"Can't I go with you to talk to Dr. Salik, Dad?" the boy begged.

"No, today you have to go to school. I'll take Starbuck to Life Center. Don't worry, I'll tell you everything that happened when I get home tonight," he promised.

"Please? I'm the one who heard him same my name both times. Please?"

In that voice that told the boy he was serious, Apollo replied, "No, Boxey."

Reluctantly the boy got dressed and ready for school.

Apollo returned to the bedroom he shared with Starbuck to get his friend ready for the day, as well. It wasn't too difficult to dress the other man. As long as Apollo told him specifically what to do, Starbuck complied. It was almost like dressing a cooperative mannequin.

After making sure Boxey went to class, Apollo dragged Starbuck down to Life Center.

Dr. Salik saw them coming. He greeted Apollo cautiously, listened carefully to what he had to say and sat digesting the new information for a centon.

"So it seems Boxey was right, after all. Starbuck did speak to him. I wonder why the boy and not you? One thing, though, Captain. If he responds to you again like that, when he's asleep, wake him up immediately. His defenses might be down just enough that you can talk to him. And let me know immediately if you see any change. You can contact me at any time, even if I'm off duty."

"Thank you, Doctor. How much longer do you think..." Apollo couldn't voice the words.

"I don't know, Captain. It could be merely centares, it could take sectares. Only Starbuck can tell us the answer to that question."

Apollo nodded. "But this is a good sign, isn't it?"

"A very good sign. He could start coming out of it at any time."

On the way back to their quarters (strange how he thought of them as "their" quarters now), Apollo kept up a flow of cheerful conversation, determined to bring Starbuck back as soon as possible.

Chameleon was waiting for them when they got there, anxious to know the Doctor's prognosis.

"A good sign, hmm? I wish he could be a little more concrete."

"So do I, but with Starbuck, you can never be too certain of anything. This son of yours is the most stubborn person I know. He might stay this way a little while longer just to bother me," Apollo joked.

"Not even in jest, Apollo," Chameleon said with a shudder.

"I know. It almost doesn't seem real. The Doctor said he might regain consciousness any time now. You'll let me know if anything changes while I'm on duty?"

"Of course, Apollo. Knowing Starbuck, he'd probably wait until you're on a long patrol, then decide to come out of it."

"And be wondering where I am, I'm sure," Apollo joked. "Even if I am, I want to know about it... the least little change, all right?"

"All right. Now you go off and do your job protecting us from the Cylons and anything else out there. I'll look after my son."

"Thanks, Chameleon. I couldn't have handled this if you hadn't been here."

"Go to work, Captain."

"Yes, sir." With a hopeful grin, he set off for the duty office.

//////////////////////////////////////////

Boomer was standing by the door as he arrived, also waiting to hear what the Doctor had said.

"It could happen at any time, Boomer," Apollo explained with tears in his eyes. "And then we'll get sealed."

"Don't move too fast there, Captain. You turned him down, remember?"

"Yes, but... how did you know, Boomer?"

Too late, Boomer remembered that Starbuck had been the one to tell him, not Apollo. "He told me when I went over with the pictures."

"Why didn't you tell me, Boomer?"

"He insisted that I keep it quiet. He didn't want anybody to know where he was... or what he was doing."

"I saw what happened to him, Boomer; I saw the pictures. I saw what that bastard Brenyn did to his face."

Before Apollo could work himself into a fury, Boomer interrupted. "Brenyn's dead, Apollo; you killed him."

"I know. I just wish he could have suffered a little bit. I was too easy on him."

"He's dead, Apollo. That's enough."

"No, it's not enough, Boomer. Look at what he put Starbuck through, what he's *still* going through! It's not enough."

"But it's all you're going to get, Captain."

"I know, Boomer. Well, shall we get down to business?"

Boomer grinned and nodded. "And that business will probably be answering the same questions all day. A lot of people have heard that something happened last night. I've already had Jolly and Giles in here asking me if I knew what was up."

"Great, just great. I need something that will take my mind *off* Starbuck right now."

Boomer's prediction proved to be an accurate one; he and Apollo spent hours telling and re-telling everything that had happened the night before.

It was nice to know that Starbuck had so many well-wishers and friends, but tedious in the extreme to recount the tale so many times.

The visits finally slowed down close to the end of their duty shift.

"Thanks, Greenbean, it'll mean a lot to Starbuck when he comes out of it. I'll be sure and tell him," Apollo reassured the other pilot.

"See you later, Captain," the tall, gangly blond said as he headed out the door.

"Oh, Boomer, I could almost welcome those cadets right now, if only to keep everybody else out of here."

"Be careful what you wish for, Captain. Here they come."

"Frak!" Apollo cursed. "Boomer, you were wrong. It's not the cadets; this time it's the instructors. What is it this time?" he asked as they entered the duty office.

"Captain, these new cadets are impossible," the first instructor insisted. "They refuse to listen while we're trying to teach, they're rude, disrespectful..."

"What do you want me to do about it? I can't teach your classes for you. And, in the meantime, I'm hearing complaints about *you* from your students. Your lectures are boring, the assignments not challenging..."

"Not challenging? They don't even *do* them. How do they know if they're not challenging?"

"I don't know. Maybe we need to make some changes in the way we handle the younger cadets. They don't learn the same way the adult volunteers do. Maybe they need to be taught differently."

"You do it, then, Captain. We are sick and tired of taking the abuse those brats dish out only to have you repeat it."

Seeing the look on Apollo's face, Boomer put a restraining hand on his arm. "Don't worry, we'll look into it. We're hearing complaints from both sides so we know something has to change."

"Yes, it does have to change, Lieutenant, and change soon. If it doesn't, you just might be looking for some new instructors." On that threat, the instructors left in a huff.

"Go right ahead. The warriors couldn't do a worse job of teaching than those idiots," Apollo snarled as the door shut.

"Not on your life, buddy. You won't get *me* in a classroom. I already put in my time in the sims with those kids and I have to agree with the instructors; they're insufferable!"

"No worse than we were, Boomer. They just need the right teachers. Maybe the warriors would be just what they needed," he said thoughtfully.

"I see that look, Apollo, and the answer is no - en-oh."

"What? I haven't said anything," Apollo said innocently.

"Look, here are our replacements. Our duty shift is over. Why don't we go see how Starbuck's doing?" Boomer asked, knowing the one thing that could get Apollo's mind off its current track.

"I'll lead the way."

//////////////////////////////////////////

There continued to be no change in Starbuck's condition for the next several days. Apollo was getting frustrated. He had been so hopeful that Starbuck would come out of it that he wasn't prepared for *no* change at all. When the members of Blue Squadron saw him coming, they decided to be elsewhere in a hurry. All but Boomer. Boomer recognized the look in Apollo's eyes, too, but understood why it was there. He also knew that now was when his friend needed someone to stand with him.

The days following their conversation about the new cadets were among the longest either man had ever suffered. At the end of the secton, Chameleon told Apollo that he had some personal business to transact and couldn't look after Starbuck for a few days.

 

So it was that visitors to the duty office saw a face they hadn't seen in almost a yahren. Starbuck sat passively, unaware of his surroundings. When Apollo had first brought him in, he had been slightly aware, but when his eyes told him where he was, his mind shut it out completely. By the end of the second such day, Apollo was ready to scream. First he had been making so much progress, and now he seemed to have regressed. He had even choked on solid food once or twice so Apollo switched him to pureed versions. Starbuck still tried to chew, making a nice mess for his lover to clean up.

When they returned to Apollo's quarters that night, after that second day, he tucked Starbuck carefully into bed and returned to the main room for a much-needed drink. He was so frustrated that the one drink turned into another... then another... then into half the bottle. By the time he joined Starbuck in bed, he was thoroughly soused. His frustrated scowl turned into a fond smile as he noticed Starbuck's sleeping position. Once again, as he had that momentous night, he had curled into his old position, nothing showing from under the blanket but hands and hair.

Hopefully Apollo pulled the blanket back slightly and kissed Starbuck on the cheek. The blond snuggled into the kiss, as he had before. Remembering the Doctor's recommendation, he shook Starbuck's shoulder gently, calling his name.

Starbuck grunted and tried to go back to sleep.

Again Apollo shook his shoulder, a little harder this time. "Starbuck, wake up. I need to talk to you. Wake up."

"You're not real. Just an illusion. You're dead," Starbuck mumbled.

"I'm here, love. I'm alive. I'm real. Wake up," Apollo said more urgently.

Slowly the blue eyes opened. And focused. "'Pollo?" he asked, confused. "Can't be. Brenyn killed you."

"I'm alive, love. And you're awake. You're awake!" He pulled his lover into a hug. "I have to tell Dr. Salik. Come with me, Starbuck." He dragged Starbuck from the bed.

Starbuck held back, still confused. "'Pollo? You're alive? You're alive!" He wobbled a bit at the unexpected news, his mind once again threatening retreat from what couldn't possibly be true. "How? I heard Brenyn fire. You fell."

"The shot only grazed me. He killed Cade."

"Cade? Cade was there, too?"

"Yes, he insisted on coming with me. He drew Brenyn's fire so I could save you."

Starbuck almost fell into the open arms of his love. Apollo held him close, almost crying in his joy. He dragged Starbuck into the main room of his quarters and commed Life Center for Dr. Salik. While the med techs were looking for the doctor, Starbuck sank into a chair out of sight, trying to make sense of what was happening.

"Yes, Captain. What's happened? Is anything wrong with Starbuck?"

Apollo couldn't say a word. The tears started flowing when he tried.

"I'll be right there, Captain," the Doctor informed him.

Apollo shook his head and reached for Starbuck. The latter smiled hesitantly as he came into view and said, "Hi, Doc."

"Starbuck? I want to see both of you in Life Center right now," Dr. Salik ordered.

"Uh, can I put on some clothes first?" Starbuck asked shyly.

"Of course, of course. Just get in here now. I want to examine you."

"Of course, Doctor," Apollo finally managed to choke out. "He's back. He's back!"

//////////////////////////////////////////

It took a few centons for Apollo to wake his sister to watch over Boxey, but she when she heard the news, she agreed to come over as quickly as possible. In the meantime, Apollo helped Starbuck dress.

By the time they reached Life Center, nearly all the med techs had been roused from bed and were waiting for them to arrive. Dr. Salik was in his office, looking over Starbuck's chart, making notations of what he had observed over the comm link. He rose hurriedly when he heard a cheer from the other side of the door.

Starbuck was standing with a beaming Cassiopeia hugging him tightly. The doctor smiled until he saw how shaky the young man was.

He stood just inside the doorway, an abashed smile gracing his lips, but he looked so unsure of himself that Salik was quickly called back to reality. He had to make sure nothing happened that would send the young man back to the way he had been for over a sectar now.

"If you're all quite through here, I need to see my patient," he ordered. "Just bring him into room one, please."

The serious tone of his voice had its usual effect on his staff. The rest of the staff returned to their assigned tasks as Cassiopeia led Starbuck and Apollo into the specified room.

"Technician, I thought you just got off duty?" Salik asked in an accusing tone.

"I did, sir, but when I heard... I just had to come see for myself," she apologized. "I'll go now and tell someone else..."

"Never mind. You're here, you might as well stay. Help me with the examination, please."

Turning his attention to Apollo, Dr. Salik started asking him questions. "Now just when did this happen? What were the circumstances that led up to the change? Anything unusual?"

Apollo was too excited (and drunk) to answer the questions very coherently, but he did his best. Starbuck filled in a few answers himself, but he, too, was excited. He couldn't let go of Apollo's hand. He still had trouble believing in the reality of his vision; his eyes never left that beloved visage.

Realizing that he wasn't going to get any more coherent answers from either man, Salik sent them home to celebrate in private. He sent Starbuck out first with Cassiopeia with strict instructions for no more than two people at a time to greet him. Starbuck was reluctant to go without Apollo, but Cass, understanding that the Doctor needed to speak to Apollo alone, dragged him out to his well wishers. Before he let Apollo go, he needed to give him some lengthy instructions on preventing a relapse.

"Furthermore," he concluded, "don't expect too much from him right away."

"Expect too much?"

Salik paused awkwardly. "I know the two of you were lovers before. Just remember; he's been violated by Brenyn twice now. Don't...expect too much."

"Oh, I won't, Doctor, I won't. Brenyn wasn't the first, either."

"Not the first? You mean he was raped before? It's not in his history."

"No, I imagine he didn't tell anyone about it. It happened while he was at the orphanage."

"When he was a child?" Salik shook his head. "He needs counseling for this. See if you can talk him into it, Captain."

"Yes, sir. Is there anything else?"

"Take him home, Captain."

"Thank you, Doctor." Apollo practically bolted to the door.

Starbuck relaxed as he saw Apollo coming in. He had tensed involuntarily upon being separated from his lover. He sprang up from the chair he had been perched on and grabbed for Apollo's hand.

"Don't leave me again," he whispered anxiously.

"I won't. Ready to go home, love?"

"Home?" Starbuck tilted his head like a confused puppy.

Leading him out the door, Apollo answered, "I'm sure Athena would like to get back to her own bed. And there's someone who's going to want to see you. I think he wouldn't mind too much if I woke him."

"Boxey? I tried to talk to him but things kept interfering."

"I know. He told me all about it. Why Boxey? Why not me?"

"I thought you... were dead. I was trying to apologize to him for getting you killed."

"But... didn't you see me, too?"

Starbuck nodded his head and sniffed back the tears that threatened. "I thought you were just an illusion." His voice broke on the last word. "Don't ever leave me again, 'Pol," he repeated.

"Not willingly, I promise."

"Not ever."

Since it was the middle of the shift, the corridors were deserted. Apollo slid an arm around Starbuck and gave him a squeeze. The blond snuggled into the caress and returned it with both arms. The walk did a lot to sober Apollo.

When they reached Apollo's quarters, Athena greeted Starbuck with a hug and a teary smile before leaving to return to sleep. Apollo pulled out of Starbuck's grasp long enough to wake Boxey.

The youngster bounded into the room and into Starbuck's arms, with Muffit close behind.

"Starbuck, I knew you'd come back, I just knew it!"

"How ya' doin', kid?" Starbuck asked, kissing the soft hair.

"I missed you. Why did you leave?"

At Starbuck's uncertain glance, Apollo intervened quickly. "He had some things he had to think about, Boxey."

"But did you *have* to leave us?" the boy asked innocently.

In a rush, Starbuck remembered why he had left. He looked up at Apollo, on the verge of tears again.

"Maybe I should stay somewhere else?" He felt torn between needing Apollo and remembering his rejection.

That suggestion was met with two resounding negatives.

"Don't leave me," Apollo whispered anxiously. "I love you."

Starbuck reached out a hand for his lover. "I love you, too, 'Pol, but..."

"But nothing, Bucko. You're not leaving me again. I won't let you." Realizing his son was still in the room, Apollo turned to look at him. "I think you ought to be getting back to bed, young man."

"Come on, Muffie, they're going to get serious." After another hug, the two trudged back to bed.

Starbuck rose from his seat. "I really think I should stay somewhere else, 'Pol. It wouldn't be appropriate for me..."

"You've been staying here for the past sectar, Starbuck."

"Yeah, but it was different when I didn't know what was going on. Now..."

"Now, nothing's changed. Except I've been waiting to do *this* for the better part of a yahren," he said, taking Starbuck in his arms and kissing him.

Starbuck melted into the embrace and was soon returning the kiss for all he was worth.

"It's time we both got some sleep. In the morning we'll have to tell Boomer. And Father. And Chameleon. And..."

"Um, where am I going to sleep?"

"In the bed, same as every night." Noticing Starbuck's unhappy look, Apollo added, "I'll sleep on the couch tonight, love."

"No, it's your bed. I can sleep on the couch."

"Don't argue with me. Let's get you into bed."

Starbuck let Apollo lead him into the bedroom and even tuck him in.

"Stay with me a while. Just till I fall asleep, okay?"

"Okay. Whatever you want."

"Hold me?"

"Always, love." Apollo snuggled in behind Starbuck, arms enfolding his love.

Starbuck drifted off to sleep with Apollo's arms around him. Apollo nearly followed him, but remembered before he dozed off how uncomfortable Starbuck had been at the thought of sharing a bed with him. He didn't really understand why, but, if it made Starbuck happy, he was willing to do it.

//////////////////////////////////////////

Apollo woke some time later to the sound of Starbuck screaming in horror.

He ran to the bedroom and saw Starbuck lying in the bed, the bedclothes twisted around him, obviously in the throes of a nightmare. He ran quickly over to him and put his arms around the hysterical man, speaking to him in a soothing tone.

After a centon, Starbuck seemed to wake up, shouting Apollo's name.

"I'm here, love. It's all right. I'm right here," Apollo answered.

"Dad?" came Boxey's sleepy voice from the doorway.

"It's all right, Boxey; Starbuck just had a nightmare. He's all right. Go on back to bed."

The boy came in despite his father's words. "Starbuck, are you all right?"

"'Pol, don't leave me," Starbuck whispered, clutching Apollo tightly, not seeming to see or hear the child.

"I'm not going anywhere, Starbuck. I'm here. He's going to be fine, Boxey. Go back to bed. I need to stay with Starbuck."

Hurt, Boxey returned to his own room.

Starbuck continued to babble. "I dreamed you were dead. I'm sorry, 'Pollo, I know you don't need me keeping you up all night. I just..."

"Shh, Starbuck, it's all right. Let me stay with you for the rest of the night. That way if you have another nightmare I'll be right here for you," Apollo pleaded.

"I just need to know you're alive."

"I'm alive and I'm right here, Bucko."

Starbuck seemed to calm down a bit. After a few more centons, he looked shyly up at Apollo. "I hate to ask this... I know it's awkward, but... would you stay with me?"

"That's what I just asked you, Bucko. Why would it be awkward?"

He looked away, embarrassed. "After what I've been doing for almost the past yahren, I don't think..."

"Shh, love. Don't think about it. It's over now."

"It's over," Starbuck repeated, "it's over, it's over..."

"And you're never going back there. You're going to stay right here with me."

"What?"

Apollo nodded and hugged Starbuck closer. "I love you, Starbuck, and I would be honored to spend the rest of my life with you, so if your offer still stands..."

Starbuck could barely control the wave of emotion that threatened. He rode it for a moment, holding onto Apollo tightly, then a thought came to him. "Wait a minute, Apollo, what about my past? I thought you didn't like..."

"Shh, Starbuck. I'm sorry you got the wrong impression. I understand why you became a socialator. That was never a problem."

"Then what was it?" He looked lost for a moment.

"Cade."

"Cade?"

Apollo nodded, burying his face in Starbuck's soft hair. "I hated the thought that he hurt you and got away with it. I wanted to punish him for ... doing what he did to you."

Starbuck pushed him away. "That was why you attacked Cade that night?" At Apollo's nod, he pulled away from him on the bed. "Nobody ever... cared enough to..." Tears threatened again as he considered the implications of Apollo's answer.

"I love you, Bucko," was all Apollo said.

//////////////////////////////////////////

Tucked in Apollo's arms, Starbuck didn't sleep much the rest of the night. He lay awake thinking, still pondering Apollo's words. They frightened him. Nobody had ever cared for him enough to want to avenge his hurts. His first instinct was to run away as far as he could, before he woke to find it was all just a dream.

He moved slowly away from the figure behind him only to have the arms grip him tighter. He sighed and shifted back. He finally dozed off a centar or so before Apollo had to rise for his duty shift.

Apollo woke and moved gently away from the still sleeping figure on the bed. He smiled as he contemplated the reactions of the various people he had to inform of the good news. He had one duty to perform first, however.

He went to his son's bedroom and called him softly. "Boxey? Boxey? I have something I need to tell you."

Still hurt from his father's dismissal of the night before, the boy just grunted and sat up.

"How would you like for Starbuck to live with us full time?"

"Apollo, that's not the proper way to tell him," Starbuck intervened, having awakened when Apollo left the room and followed him. "What your father means to say is that I have a question to ask you. I have to ask you this before we do anything else - Boxey, I'd like to seal with your father and spend the rest of our lives together. Do I have your permission?" he asked seriously.

The boy looked jealously over at Starbuck. "Since when do you need my permission?"

"It's important to me, Boxey. I want us to be a family. I've never had a family before. Not that I remember, anyway. And I'd be honored to be your father, too."

"Does that mean you'd live here with us?"

"Yep," he answered nervously, "I'd move in here full time. Is that okay with you?"

The boy thought seriously for a moment, then held out his arms. "Okay, you have my permission."

Starbuck picked up the youngster joyfully and swung him around.

"One problem: what do I call you? I can't have two 'Dads,' can I?"

"How about you call him Papa Starbuck?" Apollo suggested. "Since I'm already 'Dad' it might make things less confusing."

Another serious moment as he contemplated the proposal. "Okay, Dad - and Papa Starbuck."

Starbuck hugged the child close to him, right eyelid drooping under the stress of the moment.

"Now for the fun part. We get to tell everybody the good news. We wanted you to be the first, but now you'll have to help us tell everybody else. We want to fool them, though, so we can't just come out and say it. Watch this," Apollo said, going over to the comm panel. "Boomer first."

He put on a solemn face as he commed his old friend.

"Boomer, Boom-boom, I need your help with Starbuck," he said when he saw the familiar face appear.

"I'll be right there. Is something wrong, Apollo?"

Apollo looked artfully away.

"I'll be there as soon as I get dressed."

Apollo couldn't help the grin that lit his face as soon as the comm link was broken.

His next call was to Chameleon. He asked the old man to come over early so he could get some extra paperwork done. As ever, the old con man was ready to spend as much time with his son as possible, so he, too, expressed his willingness to come over.

When he saw Starbuck's confused expression, Apollo explained, mindful of his promise to Chameleon not to tell Starbuck. "He helped me look after you this whole time. He's been a good... friend."

Commander Adama would be more difficult to fool. Apollo had never had much success at lying to his father, so he just commed him, asked him to come over and let a few tears fall.

Boomer arrived just a few centons later, as he was the closest.

"Apollo, what is it? Is something wrong with Starbu... Starbuck!" he called out as he saw his friend smile tentatively and hold out a hand. He pulled Starbuck into a quick embrace before turning to Apollo. "You old daggit, you! You couldn't just have told me he was awake, could you? I think you've been around *him* too long for your own good."

"Or is that *your* own good, Boom-boom?" Starbuck teased gently.

"I gotta admit, buddy, worrying about what could have happened must've shortened my life expectancy by a good ten yahrens in the last ten centons. Good to have you back, buddy."

Starbuck smiled and squeezed the two hands he held, one of Boomer's, one of Apollo's.

"And we have news for you, Boomer. You're the first non-family we've told; we're getting sealed."

"Sealed? That's wonderful! Congratulations, buddies!" He clapped both men on the back.

"And I'd like you to stand with me," Starbuck asked tentatively.

"I'd be honored. If I could get him to class, I can get him to the ceremony, Apollo, don't worry."

"Oh, he doesn't have to worry about that," Starbuck reassured.

The door chimed again.

"That should be Father," Apollo announced. "Boomer, Boxey, you two stay in here. Starbuck, go into the bedroom until you hear me say, 'It's hopeless.'" He rushed Starbuck into the other room. "Now keep a straight face, Boxey," Apollo admonished.

Apollo opened the door to admit his father. He carefully looked away from the penetrating eyes.

"Son, is there something wrong with Starbuck? Has something happened?"

Apollo nodded, still looking away. Boomer had composed himself to look concerned, but Boxey looked like he was about to cry. Adama sat down heavily.

"What's happened? I thought he was doing better." He put a hand on his son's shoulder.

"It's hopeless, Father. Starbuck's..."

"Starbuck's back, Grandpa!" Boxey couldn't resist shouting out.

Starbuck came in on cue, a hesitant smile on his face.

"Starbuck!" Adama rose and took the young man's hand firmly.

"Not only is he back, Father," Apollo said, then hesitated nervously. Starbuck stared at him, terrified - had he changed his mind already? After a brief pause, he continued, "We're getting sealed, too."

Adama raised an eyebrow at his son, then looked over at his partner. He nodded. "Good. You have my blessing."

"Thank you, sir," Starbuck said, holding back tears. He sat down heavily on the couch.

"You okay, Bucko?" Boomer and Apollo asked together.

"Fine, I'm fine. This is just a lot for one morning."

"There's one more coming. Chameleon," Apollo announced. "Since he's over on the senior ship, it might take him a few more centons to get here. Why don't we all have something to eat while we're waiting?"

"That sounds good. I'm starving," Boomer announced.

//////////////////////////////////////////

Apollo felt like singing as he fixed the meal. Starbuck was in the main room talking with Boomer and Adama, catching up on what had happened since he left. Boxey helped with the cooking, fixing what a seven yahren old could fix without making too much of a mess. Apollo couldn't resist poking his head out to take another look at Starbuck. He was more animated than he had been yet, joking with Boomer, but he was still a little... lost-looking. He glanced up and saw Apollo watching him. His smile grew brighter. Apollo settled for humming instead of singing; his singing was none too popular.

Apollo was almost finished cooking when the door chimed again. He looked over to Starbuck and nodded. "Why don't you answer the door, Bucko?"

With a slightly confused shrug, his lover smiled and nodded himself.

Starbuck opened the door to admit Chameleon. When he realized who had opened the door, he almost started crying for joy. He hugged Starbuck and reproached Apollo for his sneakiness.

"Apollo, my boy, you've been around me too long. I can't tell you how shocked I am at this kind of behavior." Turning to Adama and Boomer, he continued, "I take it you both got a similar greeting?"

They nodded, smiling.

"Startled me out of at least ten yahrens, seeing you standing there, boy. Next time, warn me." He hugged Starbuck again, anxious to tell his son the important news, but willing to wait until the time was right.

Starbuck was a little confused, in his turn. He had a great affection for the old con man, but hadn't realized the older man felt quite so strongly about *him.* Must be because Chameleon had been helping Apollo look after him.